Archive for transformation
If you’ve been reading my newsletter regularly, you have heard me talk about the idea of mastery in coaching. Mastery suggests a level of skill that makes a process or an act seem easy to an observer. If you comment on a master’s skill level, he or she will often respond by downplaying the skill or noting an initial curiosity with it but when pushed will acknowledge a passion for it and a history of focused study that ultimately allowed acquisition and mastery of the skill.
George Leonard, who wrote an excellent book on mastery, used to say that mastery requires a minimum of 10,000 hours of focused study. Those numbers help us recognize that mastery requires a major commitment of time and energy. If you think about the last time you were willing to put in this kind of focus and commitment, it was probably for something that you’re good at, particularly in comparison to people around you.
It likely makes sense to you then that there are very few things in your life that have called forth this kind of commitment. If there is something in your life that has summoned this level of dedication, then you already know something about mastery. It’s also likely that you know something about passion or deep interest. You will not be able to acquire mastery unless you have a deep passion or curiosity about the subject or activity you want to learn.
I want to apply this idea of mastery to the field of coaching. I know many of you reading this article are coaches or have an interest in coaching because you’re in a related field like consulting, speaking or some other helping profession. In order for you to improve in your profession, you will have to get good enough at it to know how to create change or breakthroughs for your clients.
What will make this possible?
Passion and deep interest will certainly help. Even more important is a commitment to study and practice. When you do that, study and practice while adopting a “learner’s mind.” This approach includes a willingness to make mistakes knowing that mistakes actually increase learning, and it will facilitate your path to mastery.
An equally important component is to study with and learn from an expert or master. There’s one caveat: Not all masters know how to impart their knowledge. While true masters can model their skills, not all are capable of teaching them. So I would suggest that you seek out a master who also knows how to teach.
In Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment, George Leonard comments on some built-in cultural and practical roadblocks to mastery. He states, “If you’re planning to embark on a Masters journey, you might find yourself bucking current trends in American life.”* Advertising and TV programs imply that things can be solved easily—that the rewards of work come easily. We are shown the results of work or practice but not the time that goes into achieving those results. We have a quick fix, anti-mastery mentality. So essentially, if you choose a path of mastery, you will be going against cultural messages that have been pounded into you since childhood.
I have had the privilege of studying under some true masters. Chief among them has been Richard Bandler, Robert Dilts, Tim Hallbom, David Gordon and Steve Andreas. They are all true masters, and in addition to their mastery of neurolinguistic programming, they are also master teachers. Their mastery in NLP has often been supplemented by a deep curiosity in related subjects. They all have an insatiable curiosity and an ability to continuously be open to new learning. I have chosen to model every one of them in some specific skill related to NLP. Richard Bandler is the only one whom I was not able to stay in contact with. The others I not only count as mentors but also as friends. I think another characteristic of good masters is that they value mentoring—both as mentors and as mentees.
So if you are considering mastery in coaching, I recommend that you read George Leonard’s book on mastery (noted below). Then I would encourage you to seek out someone whose skill set includes teaching and mentoring.
I really would like to see more coaching mastery because I think coaching truly helps make the world a better place. When you see a coach or trainer demonstrate the power of coaching, it not only can be a demonstration of mastery, but for a coach who wants to be a better coach, it is certainly an inducement to want to acquire mastery as well.
* Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment, George Leonard, p. 27
If you want to achieve mastery in coaching, consider attending my Belief Breakthrough Method™ Coaches’ Intensive Program. The next weekend retreat is in Tucson, June 13-14, 2015.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Keys to a Successful Mastermind Group
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on Keys to a Successful Mastermind GroupOne of the earliest proponents of mastermind groups was Napoleon Hill. In his book Think and Grow Rich he encouraged the use of a “mastermind alliance.” He recommended this not only for the support that can be garnered from like-minded individuals who agree to assist and encourage each other’s growth and development, but also from the idea that when three or more minds come together, the effect is synergistic.
Most of the successful people I have interacted with or read about strongly recommend joining a mastermind group. You can pay to join mastermind groups organized by other people, or you can initiate one of your own. The key is to connect with fellow entrepreneurs or others involved in creative ventures who understand the importance of encouraging each other and holding one another accountable.
Napoleon Hill’s book has been around for decades, and current research still supports the idea that joining with others and setting an intent to achieve specified goals significantly increases the likelihood that one will be successful in achieving those goals.
I’m a really strong believer in masterminds. I have been in several of them myself and can honestly say that the results vary from group to group. So what makes the difference? Here’s what I think matters:
- Most important is your own willingness. What I mean by willingness is your commitment to show up and be fully present. This is so vital that I recommend only participating in groups where others share the same commitment.
- It is also important to be clear about what you want from being in a mastermind group.
- You should also gather or join achievement-oriented people who really want to make a difference in their lives or who want to make a difference in the world.
- I also think it’s helpful to stay with the same group of people over time. I have been in big coaching programs that had 30 or more people in a mastermind. My experience was that these larger groups were less effective. I received some good suggestions and useful insights but because of the size did not feel the connection and caring that comes from smaller groups.
I’m currently in a mastermind program that is the best I have ever been in. Called the Successful Genius Mastermind Group, it’s facilitated by Robert Dilts, Mitchell Stevko and his wife, Dr. Olga Stevko. I think of Robert as one of my mentors; he has been a true inspiration for me. Mitch has been a venture capitalist and investment banker, and Olga is a Russian émigré and MD who is a pioneer in utilizing NLP and hypnotic processes in health and healing. The three of them have crafted a marvelous program that has attracted some incredible entrepreneurs, healers, coaches and authors.
Through this program Robert has taught and demonstrated many processes that he’s elicited from past and present geniuses. He is now instructing us in the strategies of genius. This foundation is what makes this particular mastermind group so powerful. The program is crafted to include in-person retreats and interactive webinars. It is also broken into small mastermind groups of three people who meet by phone. We have created a kind of magic up to this point—a magic that I think will continue.
So should you be in a mastermind group?
If you want to move forward rapidly and if you enjoy the support and accountability that come naturally with good mastermind groups, the answer is “Yes!”
Should you form your own, or should you join a pre-existing mastermind?
Either will work, and I think it depends on what you want. Many coaches offer mastermind groups, so search for one that will work best for you. I suggest you speak with somebody who’s been through one of the programs first because, frankly, some of them are not very good. Look for a high level of commitment, and if you’re paying a lot of money, make sure that there’s good support and guidance from the program leader. If available, I recommend one with a combination of in-person and webinar or phone work. I also advise joining a program that attracts high-performing and committed people.
If you choose to do so, you can create your own mastermind group. I was in a mastermind group of this sort for four years with five other members, and as a result my growth and business thrived. This was an in-person group, and leadership was shared. The group’s members attribute many successes to this mastermind, including three new books and a million-dollar coaching business.
Because of my experience I have decided to take the best of what I’ve learned and create a small but focused mastermind group. Look for more information about that in my next newsletter, and if you’re interested, email me at or call me at 520-237-4435. If you’re not yet subscribed to my free monthly newsletter, you can sign up here: Belief Change Alchemy.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Addressing Two Limiting Beliefs: “I Can Have Money or Time, but Not Both” and “Anything Worth Having Takes HARD Work”
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on Addressing Two Limiting Beliefs: “I Can Have Money or Time, but Not Both” and “Anything Worth Having Takes HARD Work”In response to last month’s newsletter, one reader shared the following note about limiting reliefs:
“The big belief that seems to never get uprooted is the notion that I can have money or time, but not both. The other limiting belief I see in myself and others is that anything worth having takes HARD work.”
– Dawn McMillan, Graduate Student/Mom
Here’s the gist of my reply:
It’s an interesting idea that anything worth having takes hard work. What is presupposed in that belief is that hard work is more valuable that easier work. Sometimes certain “work” might in fact be easy for someone, for they might have specific skills or abilities that make it easier. What I can tell you is that any task or goal that requires applying a new skill or new learning will most likely be more difficult until repetition or habit makes it easier. So the new goal or task has to pass the “Is it worth it?” question. Or put another way, “Am I willing to do the work?” It helps if one is passionate about the task. So one answer is that it takes hard work to be successful… except when it doesn’t.
As for the belief that you can have money or time but not both, it may actually be linked to the “work” belief above. They are connected because they are both beliefs about how we think about work and/or success. These beliefs were likely influenced by how our parents thought about their relationship with work and success. Even though these beliefs emerged from an early childhood decision, they may be running your adult business life.
Instead of saying you can only have money OR time, think about rewriting this sentence—and reframing this belief—in such a way that you CAN have money AND time. One interesting example of this is the financially astute people who have figured out how to have their money work for them (with investments, etc.), which frees up lots of time.
What are some limiting beliefs YOU are dealing with? Share them below, and I’ll get back to you. I might also include them in the next newsletter or blog post.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
“The two most important days of your life are the day you were born
and the day you discover why.” – Mark Twain
I recently spent five days with an amazing group of dedicated coaches, consultants and medical personnel learning how to discover and implement our whys. If you haven’t yet heard about the WHY movement elsewhere, you soon will, for it is gaining in power and focus.
Once in a while something comes along that changes the way we think about the world.
That message sets the stage for understanding the WHY movement. What makes me call this a movement? Movements are inspirational. Movements have a vision and a message that inspires listeners. When the message is understood, it inspires passion and a desire to heed the message. It usually speaks to one’s heart or soul.
You may have watched a TED talk by Simon Sinek in which he outlines the importance of people discovering their why or their purpose—what you do that really reflects who you are. Everyone has a why, and we express that why differently, so you have a whyand the way you express it is how you manifest your why.
I first heard this message just over three months ago. I was drawn to it by Ridgely Goldsborough when I heard him speak about the WHY movement. He made an offer of learning about the WHY movement and my personal why. I soon had an opportunity to have my why discovered by the founder of the WHY movement, Dr. Gary Sanchez. He, along with Ridgley and two others, formed a company to discover people’s why and to show business founders how to use their why to create powerful teams and craft exact messages that reflect their own why. They also learned that there are 9 whys with an infinite number of ways you can express your why that are better known as your how.
SO when Gary and Ridgley said they had so much work that they could not possibly do all of it and then described an opportunity to be in the first group of people trained to be certified WHY coaches, I said “Yes.” That’s how I found myself with the amazing group mentioned above. What made them special was their response to the call of learning their whys.
As all of us learned our whys, we discovered the power of the discovery and, more important, the bonding that happens when you know the whys of others in the group and in the company. At the end of my training I felt an incredible bonding with my fellow students. The WHY discovery happens at a feeling level, the limbic part of the brain. Think of it as being hardwired within you. When I saw and experienced people discovering their whys, it was a way of learning what is really important and of knowing people at the deepest level possible.
During the last few months I’ve heard the WHY experience described as profound, moving, enlightening and affirming. If you want to see for yourself, reserve a FREE Discovering Your Why session today.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Is It Time to Increase Your Coaching Skills?
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on Is It Time to Increase Your Coaching Skills?Because I’m interested in increasing proficiency in coaching, I am frequently asked about the importance of increasing your skills. There are a few things you should consider when trying to determine if it’s time to increase your coaching skills.
For starters, if you believe that your job is to contribute and make a difference in the world, then how can you best do that? Some of you have chosen to make a difference through coaching, others by growing businesses that make a difference, and yet others because you have a deep knowledge that it’s important. Are you fully prepared to do what it takes to make a difference through the path you have chosen?
My recent work in discovering people’s why has alerted me to the importance not only of why you do what you do, but how you do what you do.
There’s no doubt that one of the ways you can make a profound difference is by helping others be their best, and one of the ways to do your best is to be willing to achieve mastery in your work. Does this describe you?
If you consider yourself to be very good at something, you are good because you committed to learning and practicing. Otherwise you would just be dabbling at it. But are you truly dedicated to achieving mastery in coaching—learning it at such depth that it’s second nature to you?
If you put your hand on your heart and say, “I have mastered coaching,” does that statement resonate deeply, or is there a part of you that questions it?
Are there any areas of your coaching skill set that are keeping you from mastery?
Because I’ve been actively pursuing this question for the last two years, I’ve discovered that mastery starts with a decision to improve your skills. Once you decide to improve, the next important decision is to determine the best way to do it.
Those of you who know me know that I’m passionate about soccer. I’m currently the second oldest person in my league, and I celebrated my 67th birthday by playing in the last game of the summer league. I told with my teammates that it was my birthday. One of them approached me later and said, “I hope I’m even playing when I’m your age. You are continuously trying to improve your game. You’re not the best player on the field, but you have the most willingness to continue learning.”
That captured for me what mastery is all about.
Are you willing to master your game?
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Belief Breakthrough Method™ Successes August Spotlight: Judy Ben-Asher
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on Belief Breakthrough Method™ Successes August Spotlight: Judy Ben-AsherIf you subscribe to my newsletter, you may have noticed that Judy Ben-Asher was featured in this section of the April issue earlier this year. The focus of the film she described then has changed slightly because of the death of her mother. Judy had been doing a lot of work with alkaline diets and had witnessed first-hand how such diets can help those with cancer. Her original focus was to talk about how specific nutrition can turn around disease. In Judy’s own words, here’s what has changed:
“Reality set in, and I found it so difficult trying to get my mom to actually take my advice! I realized it’s never really about the food; it’s about what we think! I had a Holy SHIFT! Now the film is about getting rid of blocks and barriers that stop us from great health and happiness. I want to do this for myself too and heal my own health and hopefully, reduce my weight drastically in the process. I believe we need to heal from the inside out on all levels for optimal health.”
Judy is interviewing several experts and compiling a video of the work that I do with her. That work is pretty profound, partly because she expects it to be and is, therefore, predisposed for it to be. I invite you to read her update below.
Dearest friends and family,
As most of you know, I am currently filming a documentary called Life 180. The film started out about alkalinity to treat or heal cancer. When my mom got sick I went to work trying to figure out if there was a way I could help. As some of you know, with cancer you just feel so helpless! When it’s cancer, we can only hang on and ride it out.
I tried to learn as much as humanly possible about health, longevity and happiness as I could find. I first learned about alkalinity to treat cancer and my mind was blown. How can taking acid and sugar out of a diet reduce or cure cancer? I wanted to learn more so I went back to school for integrative nutrition. Then, my cousin Dori Crofts, was diagnosed with late stage breast cancer with spread to her lymph. She wasn’t given many options. I shared with her what I found; she did the work utilizing alkalinity and is now cancer free! Watching her become healthy, I felt like I must share this information with the world! It must be easier to get answers in crisis!
After becoming a licensed Integrative Health Coach, I noticed that all my coaching friends were sharing a problem: it’s so hard to get people to take our advice. I showed my mom data, she seemed excited and followed the diet while I was with her, but as soon as I went home, she fell off or just did it in spurts. Why wouldn’t she want to add this in—after all it could save her life?
I was also the heaviest I have ever been in my life, and I knew exactly what to eat! Why do we stand in our own way, and what can we do to heal that, shift, and change it permanently? That is now what our film is about, and I am now part of that journey.
We are whole beings, and nutrition is just one piece of the puzzle. Some of us block ourselves subconsciously from busting through our money goals and/or health goals. What I’m learning is that it all comes from the same place, and that it IS possible to shift and move through it.
In the film Life 180, we will go on a journey, discovering how to break through blocks we have subconsciously placed in our own way. In the film we will show how to identify these barriers or blocks, who can help, and how. I have seen many documentaries about each of these subjects but none that show the complete process.
Life 180 will be a tool bag of “how to’s” designed for every lifestyle, depending on how deep you want to go. I will be testing several theories as we go and telling you first person what has worked for me.
We will have the film’s Facebook page and website up shortly, where you can see film footage, dailies, stills, my vlogs (video blogs) about it all, and my journey back to health as well as a place where you can comment and read other people’s comments. The film website will also include a database for how to find and work with the people in the film, so you too can have every breakthrough!
I have already interviewed several people for the film, including David Wolfe and my sweet momma, whom I loved very much. I have a second interview with David Wolfe slated for September; Dr. Richard Camona, past Surgeon General of the United States; the life changers Stacey Morgenstern and Carey Peters of Holistic MBA in October; the life changer Terry Hickey; the forward-thinking, Mel Zuckerman, founder of Canyon Ranch; cutting-edge scientists to explain it all; and many more huge names to come.
It’s all been so amazing! The love and donations I have received have made it all possible. I will be doing an Indiegogo financing campaign shortly as well. For now, I am using PayPal because the film will receive more of the money you donate, so I’m starting here.
What I need from you is help with donations from anyone you know who would like to help, or if you would like to donate personally or would be willing to forward this email along. I also need helpgetting 2 cameras, completing my next several interviews, getting the Indiegogo campaign started, finishing the website, and getting the film underway! All donations will go towards empowering the world with knowledge, and the ripple effect of your contribution is immeasurable.
I am forever grateful for all the love and support. When you donate, no matter if it’s $5 or $50,000, you will be thanked in the film. For the larger financier, you will get return on investment, and we can speak privately about that. I can tell you that these types of films are gaining momentum, and the return is quite substantial.
What would it be like to bust through your financial ceiling, heal and lose that weight forever?
What would it be like for you to contribute to helping other people learn this too and be a part of the film?
I am so grateful for your time and consideration. I feel like I must do this, and to get it done right, I need support. So, thank you again!
Donate by clicking on this text or by pasting the following address into your browser:
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=R74TX8KTT3CBQ
My deepest gratitude,
Judy Ben-Asher, Director & Producer of Life 180, the Film
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
What if you could discover a way to fundamentally change the world for the better?
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on What if you could discover a way to fundamentally change the world for the better?This was the opening line for the WHY Coach Certification Training program I attended in Denver earlier this month. After just three days, I could see that the WHY company can deliver—they have found a way to fundamentally change the world for the better.
Ridgely Goldsboro and Gary Sanchez led our WHY program, the beginning of the WHY Movement. Ridgely and Gary help people discover their true purpose–their why–the reason they do what they do. As each training participant identified his or her own why, the responses ranged from “Wow!” to tears of joy.
There are nine whys described in this program. The most common why is to contribute to a greater cause—to make a difference or add value to the world. My mission is to help create a world to which others love to belong. I want to have an impact on leaders. Through the WHY program, I can go into corporate America to help create value-driven companies. Indeed, participating in WHY means I’ll be doing a lot of work with corporate America.
WHY coaches go into companies, identify the CEO’s purpose and create a way for that company to represent that purpose. Coaches get the main why from the company’s leaders to create teams and get people talking in a way that reduces friction and creates passion. As part of our training we witnessed a one-day corporate WHY workshop; when it concluded, the business owner said it was the best money he had ever invested in training.
My why is to make sense out of things, especially the complex or complicated. A lot of times when I’m working with people, I’m focused on figuring out what’s going on in order to help them recognize what’s going on. My how is often to discover and suggest a better way. (“Find a better way” people are always looking for ways to improve things.)
What is your why?
Note: The “Whyification” Process is explained in this book: The Why Engine: Inspire Your Team. Inspire Your Customer. Inspire Your Company. by Ridgely Goldsboro with Gary Sanchez, David Kirwin, Mike Sparkman and Herbert Lee. You can learn more by contacting me at 520.237.4435 or Terry@TerryHickey.com or by visiting this website: The WHY Engine.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Are You Utilizing Small Groups as a Transformative Coaching Tool?
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on Are You Utilizing Small Groups as a Transformative Coaching Tool?I’ve really been emphasizing to the coaches I train that they should consider doing work in a small group setting. Here’s why:
Small Group Benefits for Participants (Clients)
- When you build a group community, it creates a natural healing environment.
- When you are observing someone else change, it makes it easier for you to change.
- You can often see your problem reflected in someone else’s experience, letting you learn in different ways.
- Just as with mastermind groups, small groups have a larger “mind” than the individuals within them, and that group mind supports healing and creativity.
Small Group Benefits for You as a Coach
- If you’re stuck, you can draw upon the wisdom of the group, benefitting from everything in the list above.
- Community is easier to build as a result of being in a group.
- You can maximize time and help more people.
Are there potential downsides to doing groups? Well, yes…
- If you don’t know much about group dynamics and the best ways to form a group community, your groups might end up becoming problematic.
- You must develop the ability to track individual interactions while being aware of what’s happening in the larger group.
- You must be able to maintain a resourceful state no matter what is happening in the group.
- It takes a lot of learning and practice to master group coaching.
Learning group dynamics and group leadership skills takes effort and commitment. Be sure you learn from someone who has mastered how to do this.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
I’ve been having lots of conversations lately with clients around the idea of how you achieve success, and one person specifically asked me, “How are you successful?”
Rather than answering right away, I chose to think about it for a while. While the question was still rolling around in my mind, I attended a conference on investing. The instructor, Phil Town, was a Green Beret during the Vietnam War. He didn’t set out to be an investor, but once he decided to become one, he couldn’t fail to bring his real-life experience into his chosen profession. He challenged us to think about our level of willingness to really learn and to think about what committing to really learning means.
Phil told a poignant story about his special forces training during which the challenge was to keep going long after you thought you couldn’t. His conclusion was that success is the result of getting up and continuing on. In addition to taking the first step, you have to keep taking more steps and get up after you’ve been knocked down. This reminded me of the work I’ve done with professional athletes where the real challenge isn’t so much always being in the flow as it is to bounce back from mistakes.
More than once I’ve told clients that being an entrepreneur is not for the faint of heart, and I think that what I’ve heard from Phil reiterates that idea. I know that more than once I considered going back to a J-O-B, especially when I was struggling with fear—fear that I wouldn’t be able to make enough money, fear that my efforts would not achieve success. I really believe that what ultimately made me successful was the willingness to continue getting up.
I’m laughing at myself because I want to inject an NLP presupposition now, such as “If what you’re doing doesn’t work, do something different,” and one of my personal favorites, “There is no failure, only feedback.” Ultimately, however, my success—and your success—depends on a willingness to continue getting up and to take yet another step forward.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
What ultimately motivates you?
Motivation occurs on different levels. Let me explain…
We all have a drive to survive. We share this with all living organisms. Maslow spoke to this in his famous theory of the hierarchy of needs. He described how humans organize themselves to meet the basic needs first—food and shelter—and when that is realized, we can begin to focus on self-actualization, intellectual and spiritual development.
Most of us work with people who have realized their basic needs, but occasionally we have experienced or worked with people struggling to meet their basic needs. If you can’t make your house payment, it’s hard to focus on self-development. I’m going to assume that you have resolved your basic needs and have time to investigate your dreams or higher-level motivations. Your dreams speak to a deeper level truth, a higher calling. When we as coaches or change agents began to help people realize their dreams, we are doing a different kind of work.
Dreams almost always connect to our deeper mission or purpose. Having a dream implies you are connecting with something really important and meaningful. I would suggest that an inability or unwillingness to follow our dreams leads to a deep soul or heart dissatisfaction. Of course following your dreams allows your soul and heart to feel a deep level of satisfaction.
What actually causes and inspires dreams? I propose that they come from our mission or our greater “why.” Your why is ultimately what creates your passion and drive. Follow your why, and you will lead a more congruent, passionate and fulfilled life. Failure to follow your why or dreams can lead to deep dissatisfaction and even depression. At a minimum it can lead to a vague sense of boredom.
We have many ways to talk about following your dreams. We use the words fulfillment, destiny, the hero’s journey, following your bliss, etc. We also have many people in our lives who are dream stealers, people who tell us “That’s not practical,” or “You won’t be able to make a living doing that.” Why do they do they do this? Because someone stole their dreams.
To follow your dream often requires a leap of faith or requires you to challenge your internal critic, the parts of you who whisper “That’s not practical,” “You can’t make money doing that,” “No one will pay for that,” or similar messages.
So what is a person to do? Well, if they’re smart, they’ll invest in a coach or mentor who can help them follow their dream. And again, that dream often stems from or is influenced by their mission or why.
Do you know your mission, your greater purpose, your why?
It’s important to understand your why. What is it that you believe in? Can you articulate your mission, your purpose, your dream? The clearer I get about my dream and what I believe in, the more it resonates with others. They can more readily identify if it’s a good fit for them and if it’s meant to be.
In writing this I realize that my work really answers my mission—my why—and I know that when people work with me, they often speak about how my passionate support of them has made it possible for them to realize their dreams. No wonder I love what I do!
So if you do not yet know your mission or dream or why, make the commitment to do so. You don’t want to be at the end of your life describing to your loved ones how you failed to go for what was really important, do you?
It takes courage and perseverance and faith to follow your dreams, or you can make a therapist rich talking about your regret of not having gone for what was really important. So I invite you to go for your dream. Take the leap of faith.
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About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/