Archive for success
Part 1: “You Have Cancer”
Posted by: | CommentsWhat I intend to do is start a blog or journal about my journey with cancer. I want to do this because I believe that I can learn a great deal about healing journeys by paying attention to my own. Yesterday Beth and I went to my appointment at the VA hospital. The purpose of the appointment was to discuss the findings from my recent prostate biopsy. Some background is important…
I will be 65 in July. One of the challenges of being in the last third of my life is that now what is most present is the difference between the way my body used to work and how it works now. Up until about two years ago I didn’t think a lot about relieving myself in the morning. Now I do. I wake up more frequently in the early morning with an urge to go. Then I notice it ain’t what it used to be. The old plumbing system isn’t working the way it used to. (Now there are certain number of you reading this who may be smiling or nodding your head in recognition. Or you may have a partner who is now experiencing this.) Given that something is different, it will have some sort of meaning for you, such as, “I’m getting older” or “This is different” or “Is there something wrong?” or any number of other things you might be thinking.
Well one day I picked up my phone and called my medical provider, the VA hospital. I was put through to a nurse who started asking me questions about frequency, volume, experience of pain or not, and then he looked in my records (the VA has been using computerized record-keeping for several years now) and discovered that a blood test I had taken in the past had elevated PSAs. His tone became decidedly concerned, and he asked me why I hadn’t followed up. I told him because I hadn’t known I should’ve followed up. Who knows what happened—whether had I been told and blown it off or somebody had forgotten to mention it, it doesn’t matter. What did matter is that I got it that I needed to follow up, and I did. When that blood work came back, it showed an even higher elevation of PSAs. An explanation might be helpful here: PSA, or prostate specific antigen, is a glycol protein secreted by the gland. It has a positive reproductive function, but when it becomes elevated in response to an enlarged prostate or a cancerous condition in the prostate, it indicates a problem. When there is an elevation in PSAs, many medical providers suggest a prostate biopsy. I emphasize many because I sought a second opinion from a naturopathic physician whom I have consulted with in the past. He also advised me to have the biopsy.
Well, what can I tell you about prostate biopsies? Weird would be a good word. Uncomfortable comes to mind, and suffice to say that like many invasive medical procedures, it has some risks and side effects that take some getting used to. My experience was positive overall in that the doctor who performed it did a good job of preparing me and making what is intrinsically uncomfortable doable. Which brings me to yesterday.
When I was called to meet with the doctor who was to talk to me about the biopsy findings, I went with my wife Beth and met with a surgeon and a resident. In retrospect I’m reminded of the old TV show Dragnet, from which Sgt. Friday is often quoted as saying “Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts.” My doctor jumped in and just gave me the facts. They were delivered purely as information. He did a good job of establishing that I have a serious enough condition to warrant drastic medical intervention. What I realize when thinking about the experience is how much it was about delivering information. There was very little focus on how the information affected me or what it was even like to be told, “You have cancer.” What I realize, of course, is that I immediately began making a meaning out of what he was telling me, both consciously and unconsciously. And even when I write this I can feel the intake of my breath and the welling up of tears behind my eyes. I realize that in the environment of the urology lab I had a similar intake of breath, and I was smart enough to connect with Beth. I could feel the support emanating from her.
As I’m writing this I’m really processing what I’m going to do. I’ve already begun researching and thinking about what all this means. Those of you who know me have heard me say many times that symptoms communicate some sort of needed action. So what is my prostate telling me? What does it mean that I have prostate cancer?
The doctor who delivered the information recommended surgery. So should I cut that part of myself out, or do I respond in a different, non-medical way? I’ve already started listening to one of my own hypnotic tapes on healing, and I’m asking myself what makes the most sense. I’m already eating and living in a way that is consistent with healing, though there are a couple of things I have to do differently. I resisted giving up coffee completely, and it looks like I’m going to have to say goodbye—saying “No” to one experience so I can say “Yes” to a deeper experience.
I’m in a community that includes a number of remarkable healers, so would I be willing to go with something unconventional, or will I follow the recommendations of my VA doctor? What I am aware of when I write this is there was no discussion of nontraditional healing modalities, and I realize I could have initiated the discussion but did not. I did ask, “Does this process reverse itself? For example, is it possible to lower PSAs? Is it possible to reverse a cancer process?” I did describe my idea that cancer represents a mistake in how cells react, and the doctor acknowledged that was so, but his take was that if it were reversed, it wasn’t really a reversal but probably a bad diagnosis.
I’ll be writing more in the coming days. I want to tell you what it’s like to make decisions about the kind healing I’m going to do and what that means. I’ll be reading many books on healing—I’m going to look at NLP and healing, I’m going to read spiritual perspectives on healing, and I’m going to have more forthright conversations with my healing team. Even though surgery has been recommended, I’m not sure that’s the choice I’m going to make. For those of you who read this, I would actually appreciate your thoughts and ideas about what I’m writing because I know some of you have already been down this path, and I know that many of you will be going down it.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
What Should You Do When Your Clients Get Stuck?
Posted by: | CommentsTo answer this question, you need to start with another one: Why is your client stuck?
You need to consider the answer to this from two perspectives—yours and theirs. Discovering the meaning a client is putting on this (being stuck) is insightful. They may not even consider themselves to be stuck. I have found three responses to be helpful at this point.
How to Respond When a Client Is Stuck
First, look at the meaning you are placing on why the client is stuck. The meaning you put on this should determine how you proceed. You think the client is stuck because __________. Unless you step back and fill in the blank, your perspective will determine how you proceed. Assess how you as a coach are responding and consider some of the possibilities: the client isn’t stepping up OR I’m not a good coach OR some good things can come of this.
Sometimes coaches blame the client or themselves for the client being stuck. But if they can say, “This is great. What are we going to do about this?” then they can move the process forward.
There are times when you need to recognize that someone is stuck by fear. Your service then is to support and encourage them through that fear. If they know they’re stuck by fear, you can ask how they want to manage it: “What do you think you need to do to manage this?” or “How do you want me to help you or push you?” and “What’s the best way for me to do that?” When I can get them to this question, then I’ll agree to do what they’ve requested. Once they’ve told me what to do and given me permission to do it, then we can move forward and see how it works.
Some coaches believe they need to hold people accountable and bring forth the best in them, but that may not be the best service for all clients. Sometimes helping clients discover that there’s a good reason they’re stuck might be the best thing you could do for them. There may not be a conscious awareness of this, but by asking the right questions, you can help them uncover the unconscious reasons. For example, take someone who fears that growing her business will take her away from her family, like it did for her father or mother. You could ask, “When did you decide that growing your business means you can’t be with your family?” and “What if we could discover a way that you could grow your business AND be with your family?” After addressing those answers, you might want to move on to delegation.
The second way to respond when a client is stuck is to say, “Teach me how you are experiencing this so I can get stuck the way you are.” Determine how the client is responding to being stuck. Are they truly exploring what they want? Is it because “part of me wants this or that”? Is there a good reason why they aren’t yet getting what they want?
The third way to respond is to recognize that being stuck may be the best thing for the client. It may come from an ecological reason. An ecological premise addresses that what might seem like a good idea logically might not actually be a good idea. It’s the law of unintended consequences. You have to understand that when somebody gets something, the results will be good AND bad. Sometimes success can have unintended consequences that actually create more problems.
To discover if this might be the reason, you can say, “Remind me what it is we are trying to accomplish.” Once you have reviewed that together, try this prompt, “I’m going to assume that we can do this, but will getting what you want cause unintended consequences?”
Here are more questions you can ask at this point: “When you get what you want, what will the consequences be—both good and bad?” and “How will it affect you and the people that you care about?”
As you try to determine why a client is stuck, remember that one size does not fit all. One of the biggest gifts a coach can have is an ability to be flexible with clients.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Should You Learn Hypnosis for Your Coaching Practice?
Posted by: | CommentsThis post comes from questions I have been asked about the utility of hypnosis in a coaching practice. The answer is never a straightforward “Yes” or “No.” It depends upon what kind of coaching practice is involved and what your expectations are in regards to hypnosis.
Are you actively working with clients…
- Who want to learn quickly?
- Who need to address limiting beliefs that are holding them back?
- Or who are struggling with physical or emotional healing issues?
What is it that you think learning hypnosis would do for you and for your clients?
Your answer to this question indicates whether or not you appreciate the potential of adding hypnosis or hypnotic language patterns to you toolbox. If you are interested in increasing your effectiveness, learning to incorporate hypnotic language patterns into the questions you ask, or the feedback you give, will enhance the work you have already done.
This is because hypnosis itself requires really understanding the power of words. Words can be magic: they can create alchemy for progress or create stuck states. If you don’t know how you’re using words, the experiences you create can be hit or miss.
What experiences do want your words to create?
All communication is designed to influence or create an experience. Effective communicators intrinsically understand this. Learning hypnosis is a very effective way to increase your ability to positively influence your clients. Words have a different influence on the conscious and unconscious levels. For example, using a metaphor is an indirect way of describing a problem or solution. Metaphorical communication speaks more to the unconscious mind while facts speak more to the conscious mind. Learning how to frame metaphors is one way to be more effective when communicating with the unconscious mind.
What is hypnosis?
Keep in mind that how you conceptualize hypnosis has profound implications for how you would consider applying it. Here is a simple definition: Hypnosis is the ability to create a focused, relaxed, learning state that engages the unconscious mind in rapid learning.
A major part of hypnosis is recognizing the signs that someone is going into a relaxed trance state. When people are in this relaxed state, they more easily learn and retain the learning.
What are hypnotic language patterns?
To understand the difference between hypnosis and hypnotic language patterns, think of hypnosis as the actual process of helping someone going into a trance state, while hypnotic language patterns focus attention in a specific way. An example of the latter would be asking someone in pain where they feel most relaxed in their body. This question causes them to focus on relaxation, not pain.
Because a number of my clients are interested in learning how to use language more effectively, I have created several teleclasses to teach patterns that create change. Watch for these and other programs I’ll offer soon to help you achieve more effectiveness in your coaching. Also, look for more posts about this in the future, as I have barely scratched the surface of this phenomenal tool for change and learning.
Another way to really understand the effects of hypnotic language is to experience one of my recordings from the 2012 Belief Breakthrough Series™ Download of the Month Club.
If you have specific questions about how hypnosis could benefit your practice, e-mail me or call 520-237-4435.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Making a Difference
Posted by: | CommentsMy friend and tenant Peter Norback inspired this month’s article. I have known Peter for 15 years, and he has lived in our rental house for over 10 years. I want to tell you why he is a hero and an inspiration, not just to me but also to others across the US. His story was even featured recently on United We Serve, the National Service Blog.
What I like about Peter’s project is that he took the question “What can you do for your community?” seriously, came up with an answer and implemented it. Because he has taken on a challenge to improve his community (and more), Peter’s actions remind me of the movie Pay it Forward.
Rather than point out the underlying beliefs that Peter exhibits, check out his post and see what you think: Fighting Hunger One Can A Week. By the way, Peter has influenced several people around the US to accept his challenge. Any takers?
(Beth and I participated for over a year in our neighborhood.)
Additional reading: National Service Blog: United We Serve
I would love to hear what you think about Peter’s project. Share your feedback and comments below.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Listen to Your Gut AND Follow Your Heart
Posted by: | CommentsThis article comes from the March download and is about helping you discover the wisdom of your body. Recent research has confirmed ancient knowledge about the body. We now know that the “gut” contains neuro-transmitters and neuro-connections that are the equivalent of a cat’s brains. In fact, the digestive system has more neurons than the spinal cord and has been called the second brain of the human body.
This remarkable system has the ability to make sense of information from the outside and process it, conveying a sense of “butterflies” when we experience something new, different or exciting. So those of you who “trust your gut” or react to a “gut instinct” are actually tapping into the wisdom in your body.
For those of you who want to “follow your heart” or “live your heart’s desire,” it turns out that the heart itself has an amazing amount of computing power. It has a memory and can process complex emotions, so don’t let people talk you out of following your heart or listening to your heart.
Ultimately, the key is to integrate your gut instincts and your heart’s desire with the ability to think logically. These are all important ways to understand your world experiences, and it is likely that you have developed one more than the others. One is not better than another, just different; so don’t let anyone talk you out of your preferred way of making sense of what’s going on around you. You’re just manifesting a different kind of intelligence.
Neuro-gastroenterologists believe that listening to your stomach can help you strengthen your immune system, and the Institute of HeartMath has been working on ways to tap into the intelligence of the brain and the heart. You can learn more about these topics via the March download and the resources below.
Additional Reading
Basic and Clinical Neurocardiology by J. Andrew Armour and Jeffrey L. Ardell
The Heart’s Code: Tapping the Wisdom and Power of Our Heart Energy by Paul Pearsall
The Second Brain: The Scientific Basis of Gut Instinct and a Groundbreaking New Understanding of Nervous Disorders of the Stomach and Intestines by Michael Gershon
Institute of HeartMath
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I would love to hear what you think about this research. Share your feedback and comments below.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Use the COACH Model to Work Through Your Struggles with Clients
Posted by: | CommentsA really common problem that coaches talk to me about is their struggle with certain kinds of clients. Some coaches struggle with clients who fail to take action, some with clients who are ambivalent about taking action, and some with clients who want you to do it for them. You may even share some of these struggles.
What is common with all of these clients is that they prompt feelings in us. Usually those feelings are difficult to be with, such as irritation, helplessness, frustration or even anger. Though the specific emotions may differ, what is often consistent from coach to coach is the difficulty we experience with such feelings. So what’s the solution?
One potential and powerful solution is to learn how to be with our own uncomfortable feelings. For this, I would like to offer a model from the work of Robert Dilts and his wife Deborah. It’s called the “COACH” model.
Understanding the COACH Model
COACH is an acronym for Centered, Open-minded attitude and state, Aware (alert and awake), Connected and Holding space. Let’s look at each of these.
What happens when you are centered? When you talk about being centered, you’re usually referring to a state of solidness and confidence, an overall sense of being at peace with yourself. In all of the martial arts, being centered is a prerequisite to being able to do the practice. It is usually felt in the muscles and in the belly. Being centered allows you to operate from your power.
An open-minded attitude makes possible curiosity and understanding. It means you’re able to suspend your own idea of what is so, focusing instead on what is so for your client. Your questions are intended to gather information so you can understand what is going on in your client’s life. Curiosity goes hand-in-hand with this state.
Awareness is a state that goes hand-in-hand with open-mindedness. Awareness requires a focus both inward and outward. It is the ability to notice and track what is going on with you. It is also linked to the state of being centered because centering itself requires setting an intent and having an awareness of how to achieve it. Awareness makes possible connection.
Connection is required to do your best work with your clients. Connection makes possible deep understanding and profound change. Connection is what makes NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) possible, and what makes NLP great is high-level connecting. Without a relationship and without connecting, coaching will suffer and might even be ineffective.
Holding refers to holding a space in which change becomes possible or likely. How many times have you said or heard it said, “I just want to hold a space for them”? You may have also heard clients say, “She held space for me so I was able to look at painful truths.” So there is recognition of the importance of “holding space.”
So what does all of this actually mean? It means that when you learn how to provide the four prerequisites: centered, open, aware and connected, you can create the prime conditions to hold space for your clients, enabling them to explore and discover their own truths, which makes change possible.
This is just an overview of the COACH model. There are some specific exercises and processes that can help you master this more easily. Notice that as your ability to manage your own state increases, change becomes more possible for your clients.
Are you ready to learn to use the COACH model for the sake of your clients?
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I would love to hear how well the COACH Model works for you. Share your feedback and comments below.
P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
How Beliefs Play in Politics
Posted by: | CommentsRest assured this post will not be about espousing the beliefs of one particular party over the other. What I do want to explain is how well-intentioned people can come up with widely different meanings from the exact same event.
Beliefs themselves are generalizations from experience or experiences. Once a belief is in place, it is sustained by two processes: distortion and deletion. Distortion means that when an event or occurrence is different from the pre-held belief, we go through a process of making a different meaning or coming up with an explanation that fits our pre-existing belief. Deletion happens when something contrary to our beliefs is ignored—it’s as though it never happened. Beliefs rarely are changed by direct confrontation; the opposite is true, for they tend to become more entrenched.
One concrete way we allow deletion to continue is by pre-selecting the kind of information we expose ourselves to. I don’t think it would come as a surprise to anyone that news channels often have a recognized bias. That is equally true with radio outlets, publications, websites, etc. It is unlikely that you will change beliefs if your reading or listening preferences are not challenged.
This plays out in another way also. Political speak on both sides uses words and terms in imprecise ways. For example, you will often hear a politician say, “the American people want ______ (fill in the blank)” as though there is an entity called “American people” that thinks in a unique way. This is particularly interesting when polls often suggest a near-even split about issues.
Words like “always” or “never” go unchallenged, and then there’s the all-time favorite: “everyone knows.” What’s interesting about these patterns is that listeners tend to fill in their own meanings rather than asking for specificity. An example of asking for specificity would be to inquire, “Who specifically knows?”
Another example that can be heard from spokesman on both sides is a variation of “We’re going to take back the country from…” One response to that might be “Take it back from whom, specifically?” or “Take it back how, exactly?” In order for the initial statement to make sense, you have to understand what is presupposed. Somehow the country was “given away” or “taken,” so knowing how specifically one thinks of that helps to create more understanding.
Will reading this cause one to shift beliefs? Unlikely. What it may do is encourage critical thinking. One of the downsides of learning about beliefs is that listening to political speeches becomes a very different experience. I often assign my students the task of listening to debates or political channels so they can catalog and then write appropriate challenges to what they hear. It matters not what channel you choose because there will be plenty of examples to learn from.
So what do you think (specifically)? I welcome your comments below.
P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Learn to Be with Your Clients
Posted by: | CommentsThis month’s tip is about the importance of being able to be with powerful and often uncomfortable feelings. When you are confronted with strong feelings, your ability to welcome and be with those feelings will enhance your effectiveness with clients.
Given that you are asking your clients to stay with and process uncomfortable feelings, your ability to model that behavior is as important as any other work that you’ll do with them. It is one of the attributes that high-end coaches must develop.
This is at the heart of the idea of “holding space” for your clients. This also will resonate with the idea that what you resist persists. It’s often the feeling about the feeling that’s the problem, not the feeling itself. For instance, if you are welcoming of your fear, that’s different than being fearful of or embarrassed about your fear.
So in addition to being able to be with uncomfortable feelings, it’s the ability to have a welcoming, curious attitude that will allow you to manage what would otherwise be extremely difficult or even seem impossible.
As always, let me know how I can help. Just share a limiting-beliefs question that has been challenging you or a client, and I’d be happy to address it here or in a future issue of the newsletter. Call me at 520.237.4435 or e-mail me at Terry@terryhickey.com with your question.
Please feel free to share this tip with anyone you think might enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including the copyright information and the bio below. Thanks, and enjoy!
About Terry
Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.
Check out Terry’s website, http://terryhickey.com/, to find out more about his coaching, Belief Breakthrough Method opportunities and other services. Be sure to download his FREE audio interview: 3 Most Perilous Coaching Mistakes That Will Stop Your Clients in Their Tracks.
Making Changes at the Behavioral Level
Posted by: | CommentsAs you may recall, last month’s article was prompted by a question from a reader about how to best use behavioral change techniques. As promised, this month’s article continues that discussion, addressing the application of behavioral techniques in difference contexts.
Before you work on a behavioral change, it’s important to pay attention to the level at which the problem occurs. You need to be sure that you really are working at the behavioral level. (See my blog for information on this topic: Do You Know the Logical Levels for Successful Change?)
The next step is to establish a clear outcome and frame it in the positive. It should be a very clear goal expressed in terms of what is wanted—not what isn’t wanted. Rather than “I don’t want to be broke next year,” it should be reframed to say, “I want to make [specific income amount] in the coming year.”
Once you know what the client wants and what they have now, then the next question to ask is “What will bridge the gap?” Sometimes that can actually involve a behavioral technique. For example, someone might actually need a strategy for handling their appointment calendar. If that works, great. If not, you want to go back to the drawing board and ask, “What would have to happen so that you could manage your calendar the way you want to?” That question will likely tease out an underlying belief. If that’s the case, then you know the work is at the belief level.
Some of these questions might tease out a “part of me” answer: “Part of me wants to do this, and part wants to do that.” If that’s the case, you’ll need to do some integration work so that the parts can be in harmony.
As your coaching becomes more focused, you’ll discover that the work you are doing is more at the beliefs and values and the identity level than at the behavioral level.
Please feel free to share this tip with anyone you think might enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including the copyright information and the bio below. Thanks, and enjoy!
About Terry
Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.
Check out Terry’s website, http://terryhickey.com/, to find out more about his coaching, Belief Breakthrough Method opportunities and other services. Be sure to download his FREE audio interview: 3 Most Perilous Coaching Mistakes That Will Stop Your Clients in Their Tracks.
Do You Know the Logical Levels for Successful Change? (Part 2)
Posted by: | CommentsIn my last post I shared the lower levels of logical change: environment, behaviors and capabilities. Now I’m going to move on to the upper levels. Changes that occur at one or more of these levels—for you or your clients—are more likely to be successful and sustained.
- Beliefs and Values: this level addresses how you organize your experience in the world; remember, a belief is a generalization from experience. Beliefs are adopted early on and become our guiding force, not learning from life. For example, if I believe the world is safe, my experiences will be very different from those of someone who thinks the world is dangerous. Given that beliefs rarely exist independent of one another, we each have systems of beliefs that can create problems when they don’t work together.
Underlying beliefs affect the lower levels of change. Oftentimes changes at the lower levels—environment, behaviors and capabilities—won’t last if the beliefs that hold them in place are not addressed.
- Identity: this level is crucial because it determines who you are in the world and how you think of yourself in relation to others. For example, saying “I am a golfer” represents an identity—who you are—and is different from saying “I play golf,” which only refers to something you do.
Your identity influences how you move through the world and what you do or don’t do. Saying “I’m not the kind of person who takes risks” means that your new learning experiences will be limited. Describing yourself as a “risk taker” has different implications and may result in dangerous behaviors that do not serve you well.
What I understand when I’m working with people is that the identity you hold may need to be adapted or shifted in order for a significant change to happen in your life. Identity has an impact on all the levels beneath it.
- Mission or Purpose: this speaks to, “What’s more important than me?” or “What’s larger than me?” Teachers often answer this by saying that they get to have an impact on children—that it’s the most important thing they can do. Mission is crucial. That’s why people struggle at a job that to them has no purpose. When people recover from illnesses that were supposedly terminal, it is often because of mission, or remission—acquiring a new sense of purpose. For many, having a connection with God or a higher power makes a difference, feeling a bond with something larger than themselves.
Change can happen at any one of these levels, but you need to recognize at what level the work is being done. For example, sometimes a reframe doesn’t quite sell because it’s at the wrong level.
It’s also essential to know at what level a problem exists. Coaches are often trained to work at the behavioral level, yet problems usually are not behavioral—or not just behavioral. There’s often an underlying belief at another, higher level that may prevent a change at this lower level from making a difference.
Understanding the relationships between and among all these levels can profoundly influence the way you work with people. Ultimately, you want to create alignment at all six levels. When everything is aligned for a client, their actions will be more effective and precise, they won’t waste energy, and they’ll have more success.
Are your values, identity and mission congruent with your goals? Do you have a client who needs to make a change at one of these levels to support his or her goals?
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
