Archive for mentors
Do You Need to Address an Internal Conflict?
Posted by: | CommentsRecently in doing work with coaches who are deciding where they want to be in their business or in their earnings, I have come across similar struggles they are having precisely because they are pushing themselves.
When you as a coach move to higher levels of success, you often run into questions and challenges that force you to consider what is really important to you about your work.
Sometimes these questions and inner struggles occur because coaches aren’t certain they want to continue modeling themselves after the successful mentors they have been following up to this point. They wonder if
they should do things differently.
In order to advance to another level and be congruent, coaches must determine what’s right for them. Until you resolve these issues, you cannot reach and maintain a higher level of success.
| It’s not about your mentors or role models being right or wrong—it’s about what’s right for you. |
The sticky part of this process is determining which of the following reasons is the cause of your dilemma: a limiting belief about higher-level success or a conflict of values—a concern about doing something that’s not in harmony with who you are. Either way, you must be willing to take on the struggle in order to move beyond it.
Today, I’m going to focus on the latter issue: honoring your own values.
There are a myriad of extremely successful, high-level coaches in our field with an equally wide-ranging number of approaches. Some can be controversial. Some may have enviable results but use techniques you’d rather
not employ. Some you may have emulated until just recently, but now you question whether their methods are right for you.
Keep in mind that these can be matters of perception. They may involve situations that are not strictly black and white. What some successful coaches may consider to be appropriate and necessary business decisions might also—thought perfectly legal—go against your values.
Whether your concerns are related to rates, style, presentation, content, value or something else entirely, you need to address them and determine what works for you. Integrity is self-defined. Remember, it’s not about your mentors or role models being right or wrong—it’s about what’s right for you.
Again, determine if your challenge is about congruence and values or about beliefs and stepping up in a different way. For some it may be both. Once you identify what is bothering you, start to address the issues one at a time.
The learning point comes when you step up or attempt to act at a higher level, for there can be a reaction. You may experience a “parts split” that will show up as an internal struggle such as, “Part of me wants this, and another part of me wants that.” Treat this as an important opportunity to discover what is really important to you.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do; just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Are You Getting the Input You Need?
Posted by: | CommentsI recently returned from my Mastermind group with James Malinchak. This was my second Mastermind with him, and it made me consider what factors make these groups effective. Capitalizing on the power of the group, they tap into a collective mind.
What is most interesting is how much of my learning came from listening to the feedback that was given to other members. I think that being in the observer role makes it possible to learn because you can be less involved personally and consider things from a different viewpoint.
The other benefit I immediately noticed was that ideas could be examined critically. A number of participants heard that their ideas were lacking in some way or possibly based on false or shaky assumptions. Because the feedback is from someone more distant, somehow it made it easier to listen. They were able to change direction.
I also learned that “because I think it’s a good idea” is not a business strategy. Sound strategies and decisions in business need more than an idea. “It’s a good idea” requires evaluation or testing. This Mastermind group provided some of that experience.
At a minimum, learn to run your ideas by objective sources that you trust. Assemble your own group or participate in others to increase your effectiveness.
Who is your best sounding board?
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do, just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://www.terryhickey.com
Who Are Your Mentors?
Posted by: | Comments[Written 1/6/11]
I just finished recording a segment for my Download of the Month Club. This audio features an exercise on finding your inner mentors, so as I recorded it I thought about some of the important mentors in my life
The one who immediately came to mind is my Chow Chow, Waiki. She is very old and infirm but still very much able to enjoy the moment. My walk with her this morning was bittersweet because I know she only has a few more walks in her. Her back legs suffer intermittent paralysis so she has been falling often, each time patiently waiting for me to pick her up so she can go on exploring.
How is she a mentor? Because from the moment she came into our life she demonstrated immediate trust and devotion. She was a street dog who had been abandoned and was surviving on scraps. It turns out that she had laid claim to a barbecue place close to us, eating crickets and other insects she found in the lighted areas nearby.
My wife Beth and our now-deceased Golden Retriever Weiser were on a walk, and Waiki followed them home, limping badly. She was a mess. At the best of times Chows require lots of grooming, so imagine one who hadn’t been touched for several months. In addition to fleas and mange, she was suffering from “milk fever” and had a liter of puppies.
The minute Waiki arrived she decided she was ours, and from that time on we bonded in a profound, trusting way. I have subsequently learned that Chows tend to form tight, protective bonds with either their master or family. She did that and then some. Her name, which came to us quickly, is a Quechua (Inca) word meaning “esteemed companion.“ She has been that and much more.
Waiki is only expected to live for a few more days. While preparing ourselves for the inevitable, she recovered from the paralysis in one of her rear legs, allowing her to walk again. So on our walk today, I allowed myself to fully feel. Tears came to me, and I sobbed uncontrollably. I realized once again that as my mentor, Waiki made it okay to face painful truths.
I have been recovering from a heart attack that, on an emotional level, I believe was caused by my unwillingness to deeply feel and experience painful truths. The heart attack was essentially caused by a blockage, and my new willingness to feel deeply has resulted in an opening of my heart. After determining the areas in which I have not been loyal or trusting, I have committed to doing so for the people and ideas deserving my loyalty and trust. Perhaps most important, I have committed to trusting myself. This means that I am choosing who to commit to and how to be more trusting.
So who are your mentors, and what are you being called to question or learn from this year?
Please let me know. I am interested in hearing from you.
P.S. Do you want to share this article? Please do, but be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. His monthly e-zine, Belief Change Alchemy, offers coaches, entrepreneurs and leaders strategies for abolishing limiting beliefs that interfere with success, ultimately replacing them with life-changing, empowering beliefs. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want NOW. http://www.terryhickey.com
Are Your Beliefs Slowing You Down?
Posted by: | CommentsIf you’ve read my last few blogs, you may be wondering what energy drains have to do with my specialty, beliefs. Let me explain…
Your ever-lengthening to-do lists and unfinished projects represent more than just behavioral issues. There are beliefs in place that have been maintaining your behaviors. These beliefs include the criteria you use to determine what you are going to do—and what you aren’t. Evaluating these criteria will help you prioritize and get things done.
For example, if you are sorting through a stack of papers on your desk and come across a graduation announcement you kept from months ago, do your beliefs support a better-late-than-never philosophy, or do you believe it’s too late to do anything about it now? Either way, you need to make a choice: do something today or let it go forever. Knowing your beliefs about such items can help you process them much more quickly in the future.
Other beliefs that affect your ability to work through your to-do lists and finish projects are those related to delegating. Are you able to give up control and let your helpers do things their way? I’ve been known to say, “You can ask me to do something or tell me how to do it, but you don’t get both.” Hire those who know what they’re doing, and only interfere if their way of doing it affects your business.
If you are ready to eliminate the energy drainers in your life, begin by attending to one or two things, and enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes with each. Ultimately, these small things can add up to major problems—or major victories. Take care of small things in a consistent way and prevent big problems. People who are really successful have these habits in place.
Are you ready to put your beliefs to work for you and achieve some major victories this year?
P.S. Do you want to share this article? Please do, but be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. His monthly e-zine, Belief Change Alchemy, offers coaches, entrepreneurs and leaders strategies for abolishing limiting beliefs that interfere with success, ultimately replacing them with life-changing, empowering beliefs. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want NOW. http://www.terryhickey.com/
Start the New Year with a Shorter To-Do List
Posted by: | CommentsIf you read my last blog, then you’ve probably been thinking about the energy drains in your life. Now that you’ve identified them, what are you going to do about them?
To get your year off to a good start, you need to tackle your energy drains NOW.
Starting with the “immediate” stuff right away, take care of those things that are niggling at your awareness. Consciously be aware of each so you can take care of it. If it’s a commitment to someone else, honor it right away. If it’s a commitment to yourself, honor it right away or renegotiate with the awareness that now you are only going to commit to those things you can and will do. This leads to the next step.
Think of something that you’ve completed or accomplished. How does that feel? Much better, right? As you deal with your drainers, finishing some tasks and letting go of others, you should experience a sense of relief with each accomplishment. Recognize the sense of completion and relief that comes with removing each energy drain.
Now, examine your beliefs that 1) everything has to be done and 2) that it has to be done perfectly. In order to work through existing energy drains and prevent new ones, you will have to let go of some things. Recognize what you’ve been taking on that you many not actually have to do. You can let go of some tasks because they didn’t really have to be done to begin with. Isn’t it a relief to start the new year with less on your to-do list!
Finally, do what it takes to prevent additional energy drains.
Make sure that you don’t continue to contribute to the problem. The more commitments you have hanging out there that you can’t get done, the worse it’s going to get. Keep in mind the old business saying: “Success is as much about knowing what to say ‘no’ to as what to say ‘yes’ to.” Know your priorities, and use them to determine when to say “yes” and when to say “no.” Consider every request for a commitment carefully, even seemingly trivial ones, because a commitment means that you are striking a contract with yourself or others for future action.
Once you successfully eliminate some of the energy drains in your life, let me know. I’d love to hear about it!
P.S. Do you want to share this article? Please do, but be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. His monthly e-zine, Belief Change Alchemy, offers coaches, entrepreneurs and leaders strategies for abolishing limiting beliefs that interfere with success, ultimately replacing them with life-changing, empowering beliefs. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want NOW. http://www.terryhickey.com/
Are Energy Drains Sucking the Life Out of You?
Posted by: | CommentsIn my last post I described how my wife and I improved our office environment by removing clutter, reorganizing and repainting. The clutter was an energy drain, and addressing it made a big difference for both of us.
Identifying and removing energy drains is important to your business, your relationships and your health. Energy drains are the things in your life and environment that feel as if they are sucking the life out of you. Take a minute to think about something that has been on your to-do list for ages. How do you feel when you think about it? See, that is an energy drain!
Such drainers, or leaks, include the following:
- projects you’ve intended to tackle but haven’t,
- things you’ve been meaning to do but haven’t,
- cards you’ve meant to send,
- people you’ve planned to call, and
- commitments you’ve made but not completed,
Energy drains also include environmental and digital reminders of any of these things, such as clutter on your desk, stacks of paper to be filed, or an incomprehensible number of messages in your e-mail program.
As you’ve experienced already, just thinking about the leaks in your life can weigh you down. Dealing with several on a regular basis can be overwhelming. Seeing physical reminders of drainers in your home or office is also exhausting, and the outcome is costly.
Energy leaks can affect your ability to provide good services and to relate fully to those you care about. They can ultimately influence the way you think about yourself and lead to poor productivity or negative self-judgment. For example, as business professionals, we understand that it’s important to do what you say you’re going to do. What does it mean if you have so much going on that you don’t do the things you’ve promised? With energy drains, there’s a cost personally and professionally.
The first step to eliminating them is identifying them. For each sphere of your life, consider your commitments and to-do lists as well as the cluttered areas, literally and figuratively. Identify the problem areas so you can address each one individually.
How many energy drains can you identify in your life?
What are you going to do about them?
P.S. Do you want to share this article? Please do, but be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. His monthly e-zine, Belief Change Alchemy, offers coaches, entrepreneurs and leaders strategies for abolishing limiting beliefs that interfere with success, ultimately replacing them with life-changing, empowering beliefs. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want NOW. http://www.terryhickey.com/
Does Your Environment Support Your Goals?
Posted by: | CommentsTo wrap up 2010, my wife and I made some changes in our office because it wasn’t supporting our purpose and mission. In order to work more effectively and efficiently, we cleared out a lot of clutter and moved several things around.
Getting rid of the clutter made a big difference. It was having a negative impact, and we have both felt a sense of relief from removing it. We also painted one room to create a color scheme that’s in harmony with a more positive environment. All of these changes have made a real difference for both of us.
Does your office environment really support what you do? What about your home environment? If not, what are you going to do about it?
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do, just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.
Creativity and Results
Posted by: | CommentsI recently returned from James Malinchak’s Millionaire Speakers Bootcamp in Los Angeles.
One of My clients, Carey Peters, who said I could comment on her, won the coveted Marketer Of The Year Award at the bootcamp. The quality of the competition was very high so why did she win? I can think of three main reasons why she won.
First, her beliefs about her abilities, about the worth of the effort and her willingness to risk loosing made it possible for her to compete wholeheartedly. Second she was very creative in her approach. She used her acting skills to good avail and modeled last years winner Jonathan Sprinkles. Lastly she took massive action.
What I have observed is that so many very creative people with useful beliefs about them selves flounder when it come to taking action. For creative people too much creativity can be their greatest downfall because they continue to generate ideas. Failure to take consistent action on good ideas means the ideas aren’t implemented. Certain actions of course will be more effective and learning or modeling others who have been successful helps, but in the end action steps are what pays off.
Carey has been a consistent example of someone who takes action and her results reflect that.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do, just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.
