Archive for coaching skills
If you’ve been reading my newsletter regularly, you have heard me talk about the idea of mastery in coaching. Mastery suggests a level of skill that makes a process or an act seem easy to an observer. If you comment on a master’s skill level, he or she will often respond by downplaying the skill or noting an initial curiosity with it but when pushed will acknowledge a passion for it and a history of focused study that ultimately allowed acquisition and mastery of the skill.
George Leonard, who wrote an excellent book on mastery, used to say that mastery requires a minimum of 10,000 hours of focused study. Those numbers help us recognize that mastery requires a major commitment of time and energy. If you think about the last time you were willing to put in this kind of focus and commitment, it was probably for something that you’re good at, particularly in comparison to people around you.
It likely makes sense to you then that there are very few things in your life that have called forth this kind of commitment. If there is something in your life that has summoned this level of dedication, then you already know something about mastery. It’s also likely that you know something about passion or deep interest. You will not be able to acquire mastery unless you have a deep passion or curiosity about the subject or activity you want to learn.
I want to apply this idea of mastery to the field of coaching. I know many of you reading this article are coaches or have an interest in coaching because you’re in a related field like consulting, speaking or some other helping profession. In order for you to improve in your profession, you will have to get good enough at it to know how to create change or breakthroughs for your clients.
What will make this possible?
Passion and deep interest will certainly help. Even more important is a commitment to study and practice. When you do that, study and practice while adopting a “learner’s mind.” This approach includes a willingness to make mistakes knowing that mistakes actually increase learning, and it will facilitate your path to mastery.
An equally important component is to study with and learn from an expert or master. There’s one caveat: Not all masters know how to impart their knowledge. While true masters can model their skills, not all are capable of teaching them. So I would suggest that you seek out a master who also knows how to teach.
In Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment, George Leonard comments on some built-in cultural and practical roadblocks to mastery. He states, “If you’re planning to embark on a Masters journey, you might find yourself bucking current trends in American life.”* Advertising and TV programs imply that things can be solved easily—that the rewards of work come easily. We are shown the results of work or practice but not the time that goes into achieving those results. We have a quick fix, anti-mastery mentality. So essentially, if you choose a path of mastery, you will be going against cultural messages that have been pounded into you since childhood.
I have had the privilege of studying under some true masters. Chief among them has been Richard Bandler, Robert Dilts, Tim Hallbom, David Gordon and Steve Andreas. They are all true masters, and in addition to their mastery of neurolinguistic programming, they are also master teachers. Their mastery in NLP has often been supplemented by a deep curiosity in related subjects. They all have an insatiable curiosity and an ability to continuously be open to new learning. I have chosen to model every one of them in some specific skill related to NLP. Richard Bandler is the only one whom I was not able to stay in contact with. The others I not only count as mentors but also as friends. I think another characteristic of good masters is that they value mentoring—both as mentors and as mentees.
So if you are considering mastery in coaching, I recommend that you read George Leonard’s book on mastery (noted below). Then I would encourage you to seek out someone whose skill set includes teaching and mentoring.
I really would like to see more coaching mastery because I think coaching truly helps make the world a better place. When you see a coach or trainer demonstrate the power of coaching, it not only can be a demonstration of mastery, but for a coach who wants to be a better coach, it is certainly an inducement to want to acquire mastery as well.
* Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment, George Leonard, p. 27
If you want to achieve mastery in coaching, consider attending my Belief Breakthrough Method™ Coaches’ Intensive Program. The next weekend retreat is in Tucson, June 13-14, 2015.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Keys to a Successful Mastermind Group
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on Keys to a Successful Mastermind GroupOne of the earliest proponents of mastermind groups was Napoleon Hill. In his book Think and Grow Rich he encouraged the use of a “mastermind alliance.” He recommended this not only for the support that can be garnered from like-minded individuals who agree to assist and encourage each other’s growth and development, but also from the idea that when three or more minds come together, the effect is synergistic.
Most of the successful people I have interacted with or read about strongly recommend joining a mastermind group. You can pay to join mastermind groups organized by other people, or you can initiate one of your own. The key is to connect with fellow entrepreneurs or others involved in creative ventures who understand the importance of encouraging each other and holding one another accountable.
Napoleon Hill’s book has been around for decades, and current research still supports the idea that joining with others and setting an intent to achieve specified goals significantly increases the likelihood that one will be successful in achieving those goals.
I’m a really strong believer in masterminds. I have been in several of them myself and can honestly say that the results vary from group to group. So what makes the difference? Here’s what I think matters:
- Most important is your own willingness. What I mean by willingness is your commitment to show up and be fully present. This is so vital that I recommend only participating in groups where others share the same commitment.
- It is also important to be clear about what you want from being in a mastermind group.
- You should also gather or join achievement-oriented people who really want to make a difference in their lives or who want to make a difference in the world.
- I also think it’s helpful to stay with the same group of people over time. I have been in big coaching programs that had 30 or more people in a mastermind. My experience was that these larger groups were less effective. I received some good suggestions and useful insights but because of the size did not feel the connection and caring that comes from smaller groups.
I’m currently in a mastermind program that is the best I have ever been in. Called the Successful Genius Mastermind Group, it’s facilitated by Robert Dilts, Mitchell Stevko and his wife, Dr. Olga Stevko. I think of Robert as one of my mentors; he has been a true inspiration for me. Mitch has been a venture capitalist and investment banker, and Olga is a Russian émigré and MD who is a pioneer in utilizing NLP and hypnotic processes in health and healing. The three of them have crafted a marvelous program that has attracted some incredible entrepreneurs, healers, coaches and authors.
Through this program Robert has taught and demonstrated many processes that he’s elicited from past and present geniuses. He is now instructing us in the strategies of genius. This foundation is what makes this particular mastermind group so powerful. The program is crafted to include in-person retreats and interactive webinars. It is also broken into small mastermind groups of three people who meet by phone. We have created a kind of magic up to this point—a magic that I think will continue.
So should you be in a mastermind group?
If you want to move forward rapidly and if you enjoy the support and accountability that come naturally with good mastermind groups, the answer is “Yes!”
Should you form your own, or should you join a pre-existing mastermind?
Either will work, and I think it depends on what you want. Many coaches offer mastermind groups, so search for one that will work best for you. I suggest you speak with somebody who’s been through one of the programs first because, frankly, some of them are not very good. Look for a high level of commitment, and if you’re paying a lot of money, make sure that there’s good support and guidance from the program leader. If available, I recommend one with a combination of in-person and webinar or phone work. I also advise joining a program that attracts high-performing and committed people.
If you choose to do so, you can create your own mastermind group. I was in a mastermind group of this sort for four years with five other members, and as a result my growth and business thrived. This was an in-person group, and leadership was shared. The group’s members attribute many successes to this mastermind, including three new books and a million-dollar coaching business.
Because of my experience I have decided to take the best of what I’ve learned and create a small but focused mastermind group. Look for more information about that in my next newsletter, and if you’re interested, email me at or call me at 520-237-4435. If you’re not yet subscribed to my free monthly newsletter, you can sign up here: Belief Change Alchemy.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Addressing Two Limiting Beliefs: “I Can Have Money or Time, but Not Both” and “Anything Worth Having Takes HARD Work”
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on Addressing Two Limiting Beliefs: “I Can Have Money or Time, but Not Both” and “Anything Worth Having Takes HARD Work”In response to last month’s newsletter, one reader shared the following note about limiting reliefs:
“The big belief that seems to never get uprooted is the notion that I can have money or time, but not both. The other limiting belief I see in myself and others is that anything worth having takes HARD work.”
– Dawn McMillan, Graduate Student/Mom
Here’s the gist of my reply:
It’s an interesting idea that anything worth having takes hard work. What is presupposed in that belief is that hard work is more valuable that easier work. Sometimes certain “work” might in fact be easy for someone, for they might have specific skills or abilities that make it easier. What I can tell you is that any task or goal that requires applying a new skill or new learning will most likely be more difficult until repetition or habit makes it easier. So the new goal or task has to pass the “Is it worth it?” question. Or put another way, “Am I willing to do the work?” It helps if one is passionate about the task. So one answer is that it takes hard work to be successful… except when it doesn’t.
As for the belief that you can have money or time but not both, it may actually be linked to the “work” belief above. They are connected because they are both beliefs about how we think about work and/or success. These beliefs were likely influenced by how our parents thought about their relationship with work and success. Even though these beliefs emerged from an early childhood decision, they may be running your adult business life.
Instead of saying you can only have money OR time, think about rewriting this sentence—and reframing this belief—in such a way that you CAN have money AND time. One interesting example of this is the financially astute people who have figured out how to have their money work for them (with investments, etc.), which frees up lots of time.
What are some limiting beliefs YOU are dealing with? Share them below, and I’ll get back to you. I might also include them in the next newsletter or blog post.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
“The two most important days of your life are the day you were born
and the day you discover why.” – Mark Twain
I recently spent five days with an amazing group of dedicated coaches, consultants and medical personnel learning how to discover and implement our whys. If you haven’t yet heard about the WHY movement elsewhere, you soon will, for it is gaining in power and focus.
Once in a while something comes along that changes the way we think about the world.
That message sets the stage for understanding the WHY movement. What makes me call this a movement? Movements are inspirational. Movements have a vision and a message that inspires listeners. When the message is understood, it inspires passion and a desire to heed the message. It usually speaks to one’s heart or soul.
You may have watched a TED talk by Simon Sinek in which he outlines the importance of people discovering their why or their purpose—what you do that really reflects who you are. Everyone has a why, and we express that why differently, so you have a whyand the way you express it is how you manifest your why.
I first heard this message just over three months ago. I was drawn to it by Ridgely Goldsborough when I heard him speak about the WHY movement. He made an offer of learning about the WHY movement and my personal why. I soon had an opportunity to have my why discovered by the founder of the WHY movement, Dr. Gary Sanchez. He, along with Ridgley and two others, formed a company to discover people’s why and to show business founders how to use their why to create powerful teams and craft exact messages that reflect their own why. They also learned that there are 9 whys with an infinite number of ways you can express your why that are better known as your how.
SO when Gary and Ridgley said they had so much work that they could not possibly do all of it and then described an opportunity to be in the first group of people trained to be certified WHY coaches, I said “Yes.” That’s how I found myself with the amazing group mentioned above. What made them special was their response to the call of learning their whys.
As all of us learned our whys, we discovered the power of the discovery and, more important, the bonding that happens when you know the whys of others in the group and in the company. At the end of my training I felt an incredible bonding with my fellow students. The WHY discovery happens at a feeling level, the limbic part of the brain. Think of it as being hardwired within you. When I saw and experienced people discovering their whys, it was a way of learning what is really important and of knowing people at the deepest level possible.
During the last few months I’ve heard the WHY experience described as profound, moving, enlightening and affirming. If you want to see for yourself, reserve a FREE Discovering Your Why session today.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Is It Time to Increase Your Coaching Skills?
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on Is It Time to Increase Your Coaching Skills?Because I’m interested in increasing proficiency in coaching, I am frequently asked about the importance of increasing your skills. There are a few things you should consider when trying to determine if it’s time to increase your coaching skills.
For starters, if you believe that your job is to contribute and make a difference in the world, then how can you best do that? Some of you have chosen to make a difference through coaching, others by growing businesses that make a difference, and yet others because you have a deep knowledge that it’s important. Are you fully prepared to do what it takes to make a difference through the path you have chosen?
My recent work in discovering people’s why has alerted me to the importance not only of why you do what you do, but how you do what you do.
There’s no doubt that one of the ways you can make a profound difference is by helping others be their best, and one of the ways to do your best is to be willing to achieve mastery in your work. Does this describe you?
If you consider yourself to be very good at something, you are good because you committed to learning and practicing. Otherwise you would just be dabbling at it. But are you truly dedicated to achieving mastery in coaching—learning it at such depth that it’s second nature to you?
If you put your hand on your heart and say, “I have mastered coaching,” does that statement resonate deeply, or is there a part of you that questions it?
Are there any areas of your coaching skill set that are keeping you from mastery?
Because I’ve been actively pursuing this question for the last two years, I’ve discovered that mastery starts with a decision to improve your skills. Once you decide to improve, the next important decision is to determine the best way to do it.
Those of you who know me know that I’m passionate about soccer. I’m currently the second oldest person in my league, and I celebrated my 67th birthday by playing in the last game of the summer league. I told with my teammates that it was my birthday. One of them approached me later and said, “I hope I’m even playing when I’m your age. You are continuously trying to improve your game. You’re not the best player on the field, but you have the most willingness to continue learning.”
That captured for me what mastery is all about.
Are you willing to master your game?
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
