Archive for choices
How to Stop Convincing Your Clients to Change
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on How to Stop Convincing Your Clients to ChangeGather 5 Essential Components of Information
That Turbocharge Change
High-end coaches achieve their success by developing their own interpretations of problems and specific strategies to solve these problems—complete with templates and checklists! This information has great value for many people. However, as we know, people are unique. The more you can apply your expertise and utilize the uniqueness of each client, the more your success will soar. If you do not not sufficiently engage your clients’ perceptions, they may feel judged or disappointed, which can lead to having them question your abilities or drop out.
One clue that you are not taking your clients’ uniqueness into account is if you find yourself “arguing” or trying to convince your clients what their real problems are.
For example, one of my clients had dropped out of a program after being told she was “sabotaging her success.” She felt inadequate and stuck. Through a careful questioning process, I discovered that she was attempting to satisfy two important values and, of course, remained in conflict. She had been totally unaware of her internal dilemma, and as I helped highlight and resolve the internal dilemma, she took action.
So how do we as coaches get a full picture of our clients’ experience, understanding and meaning in regards to their problems? We already know it’s important to discover particulars about the problem and what our clients want. But that’s not enough.
There are actually five basic components that go into effective problem solving and the mental-emotional organizing of data. The S.C.O.R.E. Model, developed by NLP visionary Robert Dilts, provides a way for coaches to gather and organize information in order to make good decisions and create effective changes.
The letters stand for Symptoms, Causes, Outcomes, Resources and Effects. These elements represent the minimum amount of information that needs to be addressed by any process of change or healing.
- Symptoms are typically the most noticeable and conscious aspects of a client’s problem.
- Causes are the underlying elements responsible for creating and maintaining the symptoms.
- Outcomes are the particular goals or desired states that would take the place of the symptoms.
- Resources are the underlying elements responsible for removing the causes of the symptoms and for manifesting and maintaining the desired outcomes.
- Effects are the longer-term results of achieving a particular outcome.
Once you and your clients know these five components, the “right” information can be gathered so that action can be quickly taken. There are specific questions connected to each component allowing you to understand your client’s perspective so that you can implement the right interventions. I will describe these questions in future articles.
Begin by taking this action step on the S.C.O.R.E. model today:
Choose a client who is struggling. Make one card for each component of the S.C.O.R.E. model. Then ask yourself two important questions:
- “Do I have information that applies to each component?” and
- “Do we have a shared understanding of this information?”
If not, ask the client to elaborate further.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.http://terryhickey.com/
What You Must Know to Motivate Your Clients and Help Them Make Satisfying Choices
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on What You Must Know to Motivate Your Clients and Help Them Make Satisfying Choices“Criteria and values are a special category of beliefs. They are beliefs you hold about why something is important or worthwhile. They are very powerful and individualized.”
From Beliefs: Pathways to Health & Well-Being
by Robert Dilts, Tim Hallbom and Suzi Smith
Recognizing the importance of criteria is critical when you want to help increase someone’s motivation or make choices that will ultimately lead to a more satisfying life. When we fail to satisfy our criteria, it becomes difficult to get motivated or to stay motivated.
One way you can discover how criteria works is to ask yourself, “What do you want in a job?” Your answer will include words like “opportunities,” “people I really enjoy,” “compensation,” etc. These words are the doorways to your criteria. If these criteria aren’t largely satisfied by your current position, you’ll be unhappy in your work.
Apply a similar question to a relationship or potential relationship in order to determine your criteria for that. Your satisfaction with the relationship will be high or low based upon whether or not your criteria are being met.
If you were working with someone to improve their job satisfaction, you would want to elicit their criteria and then describe their job so that the criteria are largely met. Then see if their job can be structured in a way that fits the description and meets their criteria.
You can help people design or implement the criteria for their relationships in a similar manner—describing the relationship in a way that meets their criteria and then discussing changes to the relationship that might lead to more criteria being met.
It is important to set aside time for criteria such as “communication” or “opportunities to learn” to improve relationships and jobs. Being able to satisfy such criteria will increase overall satisfaction and motivation.
Additionally, it is important to remember that each of us arranges our criteria hierarchically. If someone tells you that “having fun” and “earning a living” are both important, you want to determine which of the two criteria is first. Dig around for specifics, such as dollars and cents.
In this case you might say, “I understand that you want to make sure you’re making a living and having fun while doing it.” Then ask the following serious of questions.
“How much money do you consider enough to constitute earning a living?”
“Could you be happy if you had to earn less than that in order to have fun?”
“Would you rather have more fun and a little less money or a little more money and a little less fun?”
In the last scenario, you are introducing a new variable—one of degree. The degree, or measurable extent of difference, can affect the preferred criteria. In this case the degree to which one job option is more fun versus the amount of increased income for another might influence the person’s choice.
Overall, you need to help clients determine which criteria are most important to them and what they can do to make sure their criteria are met. You also have to acknowledge their criteria in order of importance, or it will not resonate with them.
In many cases, you will want to use a client’s exact words… and emphasis. People emphasize words for a reason, and if you repeat things back to them in their words, they will be more likely to feel that you “get” them. In fact, doing so increases the likelihood that you really will understand them.
Understanding client’s criteria will go a long way towards helping them increase their motivation and make more satisfying choices.
Ask one of your clients, “What do you want in a job (or relationship, etc.)?” Then come back here and share how this information created the framework to motivate your client.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
