Archive for breakthrough
Dream Big for Success
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s been a whirlwind of travel the past month, and I am about to leave today for Chicago for a seminar to train coaches on how to resolve limiting beliefs.
My travels began with San Diego last month, where I witnessed the fruition of two people’s “Big Dream.” Carey Peters and Stacey Morgenstern had their first of what I know will be many large gatherings to show health and nutrition practitioners how to run a business. Their audience, or tribe, is notorious for being mission driven but business phobic. One of the reasons Carey and Stacey were on stage is that they decided they were going to have a thriving business. What that meant for Carey was taking on some old demons linked to money. Money is really a generic way to think about prospering—you know, actually living a life with sufficient money to really allow your message to be in the world. Many of us have taken on beliefs that make prospering, as opposed to struggling, almost impossible.
Carey and Stacey overcame early messages about charging what you are worth and feeling good about it. Not only did they do that, but they now know the steps they took to make it happen. The two of them described their struggles and how they overcome them so that their clients could put in place the steps necessary to create thriving businesses. Most important, they continuously stressed the necessity to take on limiting beliefs about money and business practices. They know that without the work on mindset, there is a low likelihood of setting and reaching high financial goals
The other area that they so clearly modeled was the importance of investing in both your business and yourself. Their program went well because they had a team in place and had a structure that supported what they did. They acted like the success they are. A quote comes to mind: “Success leaves clues.”
For the past month I have been struggling with putting more foundational structures in place. I say struggling because my wife Beth and my VA Kristi Pavlik have pushed me ( I don’t think it’s been easy for them) in the direction I need to go if I am to maintain the level of success and, even more important, impact on the world that I want to have.
When you think about wanting to be a “success” and you have in mind someone like Carey or Stacey, take time to discover the mindsets they have or have adopted that made their success possible. The group I am connecting with in Chicago will be doing mindset work. I think the next Carey Peters will come out of this work.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
How to Recognize Resistance and Stop It in Its Tracks
Posted by: | CommentsOne goal in coaching is to avoid bringing out or strengthening a client’s resistance. Ultimately, how you as a coach deal with your clients’ resistance determines success.
We as coaches sometimes take the easy way out with “difficult clients” by attributing resistance and lack of success to the client’s personality. However, consider that client resistance is mainly determined by the coach (although there will always be exceptions).
Research in behavioral science has confirmed that the extent to which clients “resist” is powerfully determined by the therapist’s style. This means that client resistance is a coach’s problem. And developing a style that minimizes resistance is important for your clients’ success as well as your own.
So what is resistance?
From my perspective, resistance appears as observable behavior that occurs during sessions. It can signal the coach that the client is not keeping up. The client is saying, “Wait a minute. I don’t agree. I’m not with you.” The task at this point is to double back, discover where the client is, and attend to that point.
To do this, you need to be able to recognize resistance when it is happening. Consider beginning to notice if your client engages in any of these 4 major categories of resistance as defined in Behavior Therapy by Chamberlain et al.:
- Arguing: Your client questions your expertise or integrity
- Interrupting: Your client interrupts you in a defensive manner by talking over you or cutting you off
- Denying: Your client expresses an unwillingness to recognize problems or minimizes them; disagrees with suggestions but offers no constructive alternatives, i.e., “Yes, but…”; blames others and does not accept responsibility; makes excuses for own behavior; or is reluctant or unwilling to take advice
- Ignoring: Your client shows evidence of not paying attention to you or ignoring you
Resistant responses are normal during initial coaching and not a reason for concern. It does become a problem, however, if resistant responses persist or escalate during a session or throughout the coaching process. It is largely your behavior as the coach that determines whether initial reluctance turns into a persistent pattern. It is how you respond to client resistance that makes the difference, and that distinguishes Belief Breakthrough Method™ work from other approaches.
So consider paying careful attention to these signs of resistance and take the time to slow down and catch up with your client. Begin by simply acknowledging the client’s disagreement, emotion, or perception so that further exploration—rather than defensiveness—occurs.
Next month I will cover more specific strategies for handling resistance.
P.S. Do you want to share this information? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.
http://terryhickey.com/
