Archive for Newsletter Articles
Working with Unidentified Limiting Beliefs
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on Working with Unidentified Limiting BeliefsAs you may already know, I have created and actively use a Belief Breakthrough Method™. Learning to work at the level of beliefs is paramount in your coaching profession. Beliefs and values, even unconscious beliefs, trump behaviors. Our behaviors are organized by what we believe.
All too often you’ve heard that if you challenge people on their limiting beliefs and suggest an empowered belief, encouraging them to embrace that new belief, it will work. I have found that it often doesn’t. It only works if people were already in the process of changing or challenging their beliefs anyway.
The reason is that if somebody already knows what their limiting belief is, they are already in the process of changing. The most powerful limiting beliefs are the ones that we are unconscious of or unaware of. Those do not easily present themselves, and they are the ones you need to learn how to uncover.
Here’s where it starts to get confusing…
The best way to uncover these beliefs is when you have determined what goals your clients want to achieve. If they are unable to succeed, you will need to help them understand why they haven’t been successful in achieving their goals. In order to do that, you have to understand and uncover their particular understanding of how this happened, which I refer to as their map of the world. Keep in mind that beliefs do not stand alone; they are part of a person’s larger belief system, so changing one belief will have an effect on other parts of the system. Keep in mind the larger context.
It’s important to understand that limiting beliefs present themselves in a number of ways. Sometimes they show up as “part of me wants this, but another part of me wants that.” In that case, it’s important to work with those competing wants.
“I can’t do something” is another indicator. Once you hear that, you must ask additional questions, like “what would happen if you did do it?” The answer will help you determine and discover the underlying limiting belief that supports why the person can’t do it.
When you are working with a client to change a limiting belief, make sure that the new belief comes from your client and that you explore carefully the definite and possible consequences and effects of making that change. There are sometimes very good reasons that someone might not have made a change.
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I like to collect stories about belief change experiences. If you have any interesting ones, please share them below so I can comment on them in subsequent articles or posts.
P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Are You Communicating Your Message for Maximum Impact and Success?
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on Are You Communicating Your Message for Maximum Impact and Success?It seems like there’s been a change in the way new businesses operate these days. While older, more established businesses have gradually shifted their focus from employees to shareholders, new businesses—especially small ones—seem to be doing “larger” things. They are creating causes and making a difference. These differences aren’t just with their clients but with their families as well, in terms of money, self-esteem and modeling. It’s pretty powerful.
For example, Holistic MBA Live featured over 450 holistic entrepreneurs who wanted to learn how to create a successful business using their unique models of health care. I saw powerful transformations and commitments take place in many attendees, and what I realized is that I was witnessing the birth of several movements in health care. The processes that the attendees went through made it possible for them to connect fully with their missions and purposes.
What I believe this means is that these practitioners are the vanguard of a revolution in the delivery of health care services. Why do I think this? Because part of this conference was focused on creating effective marketing, and some participants learned to be so effective that by the end of the weekend I fully believed that they are part of a movement to take back our health care.
Ultimately, attendees learned to have clarity about what is important to their audience and about how to broadcast their messages. If each one of them touches 1,000 people, their collective messages will have a tremendous impact.
So what does all of this have to do with you?
Marketing!
Are you able to communicate your message in a way that will effectively market your mission and purpose? Do your marketing methods identify you as a mover and a shaker?
Remember, if you aren’t listened to, you can’t have an impact.
Like the participants of Holistic MBA Live who are already successfully promoting their missions, you have to create a way to be seen and heard, whether through writing or stepping forward in public. You also have to have a powerful message. If you don’t, you won’t be able to do the work that you want to be doing in this world.
In order for you to have an impact, and in order for your mission or movement to make a difference, it is imperative that you effectively market yourself. Are you? If not, have you taken steps to learn how? Do it, and do it today!
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If you put this or any of the other tips I’ve shared to good use, I’d love to hear about it. Please share your comments below.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Are You Willing to Do What It Takes to Succeed?
Posted by: terry | Comments Comments Off on Are You Willing to Do What It Takes to Succeed?This question alone presupposes that success is a measure or reflection of the actions you’re willing to take.
It’s easy to do what is easy for you—the problem is when what you need to do to be successful is difficult to do. When studies take a look at successful entrepreneurs and businesses, one thing they all have in common is their willingness to do what it takes to succeed. In general, this meant doing the things that were difficult, things that took determination.
Not that you can’t delegate, but you may need to make that extra telephone call, write that extra e-mail, or make that decision that affects your finances… because the failure to do so might slow the growth of your business or movement.
Spend some time thinking about the answer to this: “What are the steps that, if I took them, would make a difference in my business?”
This question presupposes that you actually know the steps and that something would need to happen for you to take them. If you discover that you don’t yet know the steps, that in and of itself can preclude you from taking action.
These seemingly simple questions can generate the kind of answers that, if you’re willing to act on them, will give you big results.
I’ve been watching my spouse define her new business. She’s been an inspiration because she’s been putting in long hours to make it happen. It hasn’t been easy; it’s been a struggle. At times she’s been frustrated, and it’s only been her commitment to following through the process that has made her stick with it.
So if you’re struggling (and if you’re in business, of course you are), it just means that you’re on the right track, and you need to ask yourself these questions.
Since you’re used to me talking about beliefs, I haven’t left those out. As you ask yourself the questions above, you’re likely to come across some of the following questions that reveal underlying beliefs:
- Is the struggle worth it?
- Are you capable of achieving success?
- Will what you do make a difference?
You’re not likely to get to these beliefs unless you’re willing to take on the questions above. Answering all of these questions for yourself will reveal if you’re willing to do what it takes to succeed.
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I would love to hear how well this approach works for you. Share your feedback and comments below.
P.S. Do you want to share this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
How to Increase Wealth in Your Life
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on How to Increase Wealth in Your LifeThe idea of increasing wealth in your life presupposes that you know what wealth is and that there are ways to increase wealth.
Understanding what wealth means to you is also important—is it money or something else?
Wealth is one of our universal experiences. Everyone has some idea of wealth; it just means different things to different people. I have been particularly interested in this theme because it often emerges when I’m coaching.
Many of my coaching clients want to increase the amount of money they make, and what I discover is that money represents something. It is often expressed as some equivalent such as, “If I had more money I could do _______ or be _______.” The idea is that such an outcome will lead to happiness. When we believe that happiness depends on outside factors such as people or things, especially money, we are caught in a dilemma. That idea is a myth; your happiness depends on your appreciation of what you are and how you are in the world, not on external people or events. All too often we focus on externals to try to achieve happiness.
Focus on appreciating what you have. Be grateful for that, instead of sad and anxious about what you don’t have. Some people go so far as to keep a gratitude journal, noting on a daily or weekly basis what they are grateful for. It works!
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This post came from my letter to members of the 2013 Download of the Month Club. They will also receive the corresponding recording along with guidelines for their hypnotic session. Interested? Join now to receive this month’s download and to ensure that you get all of the remaining recordings for 2013—for just $14.97 a month.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
This month’s article was prompted by a question from a reader about how to best use behavioral change techniques. This is a good question for two reasons: First, we have access to many behavioral techniques, so we get to ask, “Which technique do you use for what problem—and when?” Second, we get to ask, “What actually makes behavioral techniques work in different contexts?”
Before you can choose what behavioral technique to use—or even if you will choose a behavioral technique, you need to know what your client wants. Make sure both of you agree on this outcome or goal, because otherwise you will be working at cross-purposes.
Next, explore in depth if anything would get in the way of doing the technique. Can he or she commit congruently? If so, proceed, paying close attention to what your client would have to believe or hold as true in order to get the desired outcome. If you discover that changing a belief is part of the equation, then you will need to use a belief change technique before you can use a behavioral change technique.
Ultimately, the skill you must develop is knowing when to explore belief change processes. This requires a long learning process, but it is crucial, because continuing to try behavioral change processes at the wrong time will only frustrate you and your client. Behavioral techniques should only be used after any necessary belief changes have been addressed.
As for what makes behavioral techniques work in different contexts, I will address that in January. In subsequent posts I will cover how to understand what skills are required to make determinations about what process to use and how to know when you are working on areas of belief processes.
I would love to hear how well this approach works for you. Share your feedback and comments below.
P.S. Do you want to share this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
How to Stop Convincing Your Clients to Change
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on How to Stop Convincing Your Clients to ChangeGather 5 Essential Components of Information
That Turbocharge Change
High-end coaches achieve their success by developing their own interpretations of problems and specific strategies to solve these problems—complete with templates and checklists! This information has great value for many people. However, as we know, people are unique. The more you can apply your expertise and utilize the uniqueness of each client, the more your success will soar. If you do not not sufficiently engage your clients’ perceptions, they may feel judged or disappointed, which can lead to having them question your abilities or drop out.
One clue that you are not taking your clients’ uniqueness into account is if you find yourself “arguing” or trying to convince your clients what their real problems are.
For example, one of my clients had dropped out of a program after being told she was “sabotaging her success.” She felt inadequate and stuck. Through a careful questioning process, I discovered that she was attempting to satisfy two important values and, of course, remained in conflict. She had been totally unaware of her internal dilemma, and as I helped highlight and resolve the internal dilemma, she took action.
So how do we as coaches get a full picture of our clients’ experience, understanding and meaning in regards to their problems? We already know it’s important to discover particulars about the problem and what our clients want. But that’s not enough.
There are actually five basic components that go into effective problem solving and the mental-emotional organizing of data. The S.C.O.R.E. Model, developed by NLP visionary Robert Dilts, provides a way for coaches to gather and organize information in order to make good decisions and create effective changes.
The letters stand for Symptoms, Causes, Outcomes, Resources and Effects. These elements represent the minimum amount of information that needs to be addressed by any process of change or healing.
- Symptoms are typically the most noticeable and conscious aspects of a client’s problem.
- Causes are the underlying elements responsible for creating and maintaining the symptoms.
- Outcomes are the particular goals or desired states that would take the place of the symptoms.
- Resources are the underlying elements responsible for removing the causes of the symptoms and for manifesting and maintaining the desired outcomes.
- Effects are the longer-term results of achieving a particular outcome.
Once you and your clients know these five components, the “right” information can be gathered so that action can be quickly taken. There are specific questions connected to each component allowing you to understand your client’s perspective so that you can implement the right interventions. I will describe these questions in future articles.
Begin by taking this action step on the S.C.O.R.E. model today:
Choose a client who is struggling. Make one card for each component of the S.C.O.R.E. model. Then ask yourself two important questions:
- “Do I have information that applies to each component?” and
- “Do we have a shared understanding of this information?”
If not, ask the client to elaborate further.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.http://terryhickey.com/
Facilitate Focused Action by Clarifying Your Criteria
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on Facilitate Focused Action by Clarifying Your CriteriaAs your business expands, one of the biggest challenges is determining how to get everything done in order to keep the expansion going. If you don’t solve this issue, you will likely end up dealing with burnout, frustration and a reduction in potential income.
You know you’re experiencing this struggle if you find yourself saying, “I have trouble managing my schedule,” or you find yourself talking about the need to have balance in your life. Another indicator is if you are not attending to the things you value, e.g. relationships, kids, working out, etc.
One of my clients is expanding her business and recently mentioned such challenges. She said, “I’m struggling with finding enough time to manage my business.” What I said to her in response was, “It’s not that you don’t have enough time. It’s that you don’t have clear criteria about how to spend your time.”
So how can you solve this common, but important, issue?
- Set time to clarify criteria. Even though this is a potentially difficult task, knowing what is most important to you will allow you to commit time in alignment with your criteria.
- To set your criteria, do the following:
- Ask, “What are the most important actions to grow my business?”
- Ask, “What is the one activity that would make the biggest difference?”
- Imagine your business having achieved the success you want. Stand up and step into that successful business and ask, “What were the most important actions that got me here? Which of my beliefs were most significant in getting me here?”
- Once you have clarified your most important actions and supporting beliefs, determine what you can do and what needs to be delegated… then make it happen.
While doing the exercise above, you will likely discover limiting unconscious beliefs, such as “It’s not OK to devote time to what I think is important,” or “What I want doesn’t matter,” or “What’s important to me must satisfy or please others.” If empowering beliefs do not replace these limiting beliefs, it will be nearly impossible to implement your criteria.
So set time to clarify what is most important to grow your business, resolve limiting beliefs, and delegate those tasks that no longer serve what you most value. Then your actions will be focused on what most matters to you and your business.
So are you willing to take the time to discover your important criteria?
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.http://terryhickey.com/
What You Must Know to Motivate Your Clients and Help Them Make Satisfying Choices
Posted by: Adonai | Comments Comments Off on What You Must Know to Motivate Your Clients and Help Them Make Satisfying Choices“Criteria and values are a special category of beliefs. They are beliefs you hold about why something is important or worthwhile. They are very powerful and individualized.”
From Beliefs: Pathways to Health & Well-Being
by Robert Dilts, Tim Hallbom and Suzi Smith
Recognizing the importance of criteria is critical when you want to help increase someone’s motivation or make choices that will ultimately lead to a more satisfying life. When we fail to satisfy our criteria, it becomes difficult to get motivated or to stay motivated.
One way you can discover how criteria works is to ask yourself, “What do you want in a job?” Your answer will include words like “opportunities,” “people I really enjoy,” “compensation,” etc. These words are the doorways to your criteria. If these criteria aren’t largely satisfied by your current position, you’ll be unhappy in your work.
Apply a similar question to a relationship or potential relationship in order to determine your criteria for that. Your satisfaction with the relationship will be high or low based upon whether or not your criteria are being met.
If you were working with someone to improve their job satisfaction, you would want to elicit their criteria and then describe their job so that the criteria are largely met. Then see if their job can be structured in a way that fits the description and meets their criteria.
You can help people design or implement the criteria for their relationships in a similar manner—describing the relationship in a way that meets their criteria and then discussing changes to the relationship that might lead to more criteria being met.
It is important to set aside time for criteria such as “communication” or “opportunities to learn” to improve relationships and jobs. Being able to satisfy such criteria will increase overall satisfaction and motivation.
Additionally, it is important to remember that each of us arranges our criteria hierarchically. If someone tells you that “having fun” and “earning a living” are both important, you want to determine which of the two criteria is first. Dig around for specifics, such as dollars and cents.
In this case you might say, “I understand that you want to make sure you’re making a living and having fun while doing it.” Then ask the following serious of questions.
“How much money do you consider enough to constitute earning a living?”
“Could you be happy if you had to earn less than that in order to have fun?”
“Would you rather have more fun and a little less money or a little more money and a little less fun?”
In the last scenario, you are introducing a new variable—one of degree. The degree, or measurable extent of difference, can affect the preferred criteria. In this case the degree to which one job option is more fun versus the amount of increased income for another might influence the person’s choice.
Overall, you need to help clients determine which criteria are most important to them and what they can do to make sure their criteria are met. You also have to acknowledge their criteria in order of importance, or it will not resonate with them.
In many cases, you will want to use a client’s exact words… and emphasis. People emphasize words for a reason, and if you repeat things back to them in their words, they will be more likely to feel that you “get” them. In fact, doing so increases the likelihood that you really will understand them.
Understanding client’s criteria will go a long way towards helping them increase their motivation and make more satisfying choices.
Ask one of your clients, “What do you want in a job (or relationship, etc.)?” Then come back here and share how this information created the framework to motivate your client.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Setting Your Own Pace (and Sometimes Adapting to Another’s Pace)
Posted by: terry | Comments Comments Off on Setting Your Own Pace (and Sometimes Adapting to Another’s Pace)
Salka’s notes are actually from Waiki this time.
She can’t keep up these days and has no interest in doing so. She has her own pace and is not interested in adapting to the other dogs. They have different demands. Waiki’s agenda is to go out and be in the neighborhood. Despite her failing health, she’s really happy and enjoying herself.
The added bonus is that accommodating her needs allows me to get a brisk, heart-healthy walk with the other two dogs and then take it easy with her. It reminds me of raising children. With kids, we often have to adapt to their styles rather than having them adapt to ours, and doing so pays dividends for everyone.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
Are You Using the Language of Success?
Posted by: terry | Comments Comments Off on Are You Using the Language of Success?One of the skill sets we taught physical therapists in Alaska involves using pre-suppositional language in a very specific way. The pattern that appealed to them most was one in which you presuppose an outcome.
For example, if you’re working with someone to reach a specific goal, one way to help them achieve it is to ask questions like this…
“When you’re operating in a healthy way, what do you imagine you’ll be doing on a daily basis?”
OR
“While operating in a healthy fashion, what do you imagine you’ll be doing on a daily basis?”
In the first case, the when presupposes what follows, and in the second, while serves as the word that presupposes what will follow.
It can be helpful to recognize that this pattern can be used to presuppose failure as well. It’s what you put the focus on, positive or negative, that determines the outcome. One of the things that can be helpful is to notice if your clients are already using this language pattern themselves. If so, are they using it to presuppose failure?
To adopt language for successful outcome, coaches could say…
“After practicing this pattern, what do you think will be different?”
OR
“Once you’ve done this, what will be different?”
Both examples presuppose that the action will have happened. Notice that these questions orient people to the future, creating an already-accomplished experience because of the presupposed success.
Overall, I have found that presupposing success or achievement is very helpful to people.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
