Well I have been traveling on my journey of discovery for two weeks now. Much of the time was spent in research. One of the problems with the Internet is the vast ocean of information, only some of which is useful. We have been doing research for the past several days and have been making calls to ask for resources and sorting through the information available.

I am going to get a second opinion, which requires that I get specific medical records from the VA. It helps that they have computerized records, but it has taken time and effort, and I still don’t have exactly what I need.

I am also trying to decide how much effort to put into my business at this time because I want to care for myself but also keep my business going. For the most part I have chosen to let my clients know what is going on with me, especially since I have to change meeting times to work around medical appointments.

When I allow myself to take time to reflect, I can feel all kinds of feelings, especially fear… I have been reading articles and a book about cancer and have discovered that prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer deaths among men. The other statistic that amazed me was that one in six men over age 50 get prostate cancer. Wow, that’s a lot!

I am choosing to reach out to friends and family, and they are responding in amazing ways. This is counter to my old inclination, which was to be stoic and not let people know what is happening. I have discovered that some of my friends have had prostate cancer, and they are encouraging about what can happen as a result of surgery.

The two major obstacles I had to overcome this past week were my bone scan and CT scan, both of which are designed to discover if the cancer has spread to other sites near the prostate.

A bone scan requires that one be given a shot of some mildly radioactive material that serves as a contrast to the bones and has an affinity for bones that are either injured or have acquired cancer cells. Then you lie under a scanning system that maps your entire skeleton. Well, no cancer, but LOL, they did discover that a soccer injury I had from a game 10 days before was actually a broken finger. As a result, I got an X-ray and was splinted.

While I was at the VA emergency room for my finger, I left my iPhone in the waiting room. When I realized what had happened, I went to find it, but it was gone. I went home and enabled Find My iPhone. Guess what… it works! I was able to trace it to an apartment complex and to the right apartment. When I was approaching the apartment, a woman came out saw me with my iPad and said, “Are you looking for your phone?” She claimed that she had tried to turn it in at the VA but wasn’t able to do so. I remember seeing her there, and I knew she was lying, but I was just happy to get my phone back.

I have engaged the services of a medical advocate whose job is to support me in my journey by making sure that the treatment choices I make are appropriate and done well. He can also do additional research about new and innovative treatments. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of having a team—a support system—when you’re attempting a major healing.

I want to tell you about my meeting with Dr. Dougherty, the head of radiological oncology. What a wonderful soul… she was so present and so heart centered that I was able to discuss my fears my concerns, and she listened. She picked up how important lifestyle concerns are to me. At some point in the interview she said it was her job to be on my team, and her position on the team was either to be providing a specific treatment or to support me in whatever treatment I chose. That was exactly what I was looking for. She also saw my choice to connect with the medical advocate as very positive. All too often doctors feel criticized if you want an advocate, but she was open to it.

I decided to go to San Francisco this next weekend and attend a reunion of health-certified NLP graduates. I’m going because the organizer, Tim Hallbon, said he would like to work on me as a demonstration of how to work with a serious health challenge. Tim is one of my mentors and a friend, and I have strong connections with the NLP community, so this is ideal. I’m beginning to feel more positive about how I will manage this health challenge, especially sense I really do believe I’m beginning to have a team.

It is really hard to navigate the current health care system. It even seems overwhelming to the people who work there. I was trying to get a copy of the slides from my biopsy, and it took me three days to even get to the right department to find out that I would have to jump through several hoops to have them sent to a doctor for a second opinion.

I have been meditating and listening to music sent to me by my friend Deborah Wilson, who works with angels and healing music. I also went with my wife and brother-in-law to attend a six-hour meditation process with a remarkable healer, Kingi Kumara, who works with quantum healing.

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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

What I intend to do is start a blog or journal about my journey with cancer. I want to do this because I believe that I can learn a great deal about healing journeys by paying attention to my own. Yesterday Beth and I went to my appointment at the VA hospital. The purpose of the appointment was to discuss the findings from my recent prostate biopsy. Some background is important…

I will be 65 in July. One of the challenges of being in the last third of my life is that now what is most present is the difference between the way my body used to work and how it works now. Up until about two years ago I didn’t think a lot about relieving myself in the morning. Now I do. I wake up more frequently in the early morning with an urge to go. Then I notice it ain’t what it used to be. The old plumbing system isn’t working the way it used to. (Now there are certain number of you reading this who may be smiling or nodding your head in recognition. Or you may have a partner who is now experiencing this.) Given that something is different, it will have some sort of meaning for you, such as, “I’m getting older” or “This is different” or “Is there something wrong?” or any number of other things you might be thinking.

Well one day I picked up my phone and called my medical provider, the VA hospital. I was put through to a nurse who started asking me questions about frequency, volume, experience of pain or not, and then he looked in my records (the VA has been using computerized record-keeping for several years now) and discovered that a blood test I had taken in the past had elevated PSAs. His tone became decidedly concerned, and he asked me why I hadn’t followed up. I told him because I hadn’t known I should’ve followed up. Who knows what happened—whether had I been told and blown it off or somebody had forgotten to mention it, it doesn’t matter. What did matter is that I got it that I needed to follow up, and I did. When that blood work came back, it showed an even higher elevation of PSAs. An explanation might be helpful here: PSA, or prostate specific antigen, is a glycol protein secreted by the gland. It has a positive reproductive function, but when it becomes elevated in response to an enlarged prostate or a cancerous condition in the prostate, it indicates a problem. When there is an elevation in PSAs, many medical providers suggest a prostate biopsy. I emphasize many because I sought a second opinion from a naturopathic physician whom I have consulted with in the past. He also advised me to have the biopsy.

Well, what can I tell you about prostate biopsies? Weird would be a good word. Uncomfortable comes to mind, and suffice to say that like many invasive medical procedures, it has some risks and side effects that take some getting used to. My experience was positive overall in that the doctor who performed it did a good job of preparing me and making what is intrinsically uncomfortable doable. Which brings me to yesterday.

When I was called to meet with the doctor who was to talk to me about the biopsy findings, I went with my wife Beth and met with a surgeon and a resident. In retrospect I’m reminded of the old TV show Dragnet, from which Sgt. Friday is often quoted as saying “Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts.” My doctor jumped in and just gave me the facts. They were delivered purely as information. He did a good job of establishing that I have a serious enough condition to warrant drastic medical intervention. What I realize when thinking about the experience is how much it was about delivering information. There was very little focus on how the information affected me or what it was even like to be told, “You have cancer.” What I realize, of course, is that I immediately began making a meaning out of what he was telling me, both consciously and unconsciously. And even when I write this I can feel the intake of my breath and the welling up of tears behind my eyes. I realize that in the environment of the urology lab I had a similar intake of breath, and I was smart enough to connect with Beth. I could feel the support emanating from her.

As I’m writing this I’m really processing what I’m going to do. I’ve already begun researching and thinking about what all this means. Those of you who know me have heard me say many times that symptoms communicate some sort of needed action. So what is my prostate telling me? What does it mean that I have prostate cancer?

The doctor who delivered the information recommended surgery. So should I cut that part of myself out, or do I respond in a different, non-medical way? I’ve already started listening to one of my own hypnotic tapes on healing, and I’m asking myself what makes the most sense. I’m already eating and living in a way that is consistent with healing, though there are a couple of things I have to do differently. I resisted giving up coffee completely, and it looks like I’m going to have to say goodbye—saying “No” to one experience so I can say “Yes” to a deeper experience.

I’m in a community that includes a number of remarkable healers, so would I be willing to go with something unconventional, or will I follow the recommendations of my VA doctor? What I am aware of when I write this is there was no discussion of nontraditional healing modalities, and I realize I could have initiated the discussion but did not. I did ask, “Does this process reverse itself? For example, is it possible to lower PSAs? Is it possible to reverse a cancer process?” I did describe my idea that cancer represents a mistake in how cells react, and the doctor acknowledged that was so, but his take was that if it were reversed, it wasn’t really a reversal but probably a bad diagnosis.

I’ll be writing more in the coming days. I want to tell you what it’s like to make decisions about the kind healing I’m going to do and what that means. I’ll be reading many books on healing—I’m going to look at NLP and healing, I’m going to read spiritual perspectives on healing, and I’m going to have more forthright conversations with my healing team. Even though surgery has been recommended, I’m not sure that’s the choice I’m going to make. For those of you who read this, I would actually appreciate your thoughts and ideas about what I’m writing because I know some of you have already been down this path, and I know that many of you will be going down it.

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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/