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Spending time on my book during a recent weekend retreat allowed me to think about what I want to accomplish right now. There’s nothing like writing to sharpen my awareness. I thought through the idea of belief change and what I do that makes the work I do possible. I’ve become an expert in my subject matter, so writing involves trying to capture what I do and describe it in an understandable manner. I’ve found that when I write, the problem often isn’t knowing what to say but weeding out what not to say. The process is as much about winnowing as it is about creating.
During my weekend retreat I also caught up on professional reading, focusing especially on content from Steve Andreas’ blog. As I mentioned above, he was one of my Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) trainers, and his writing is inspirational to me because he’s thoughtful and approaches NLP in a very logical, scientific manner. When you make a decision to master coaching or a particular kind of coaching, it really helps to select representatives of the area of expertise you want to master. Reading about their thoughts and approaches expands your thinking about your own way of doing things, especially if their way of thinking is different from yours.
My approach combines intuition and Steve’s logical approach. He has taught me to consider this question: What is going on to make the change possible? And further: What are the processes that are making this change possible? If someone can show you a way to think through these questions, you’ll have a way to understand how what you are doing works. That thinking can allow you to create your own innovations and patterns.
This process is similar to cooking. When you first start out, it’s useful to follow recipes, particularly with baking. There’s a science behind that, and if you skip some of the steps or processes, you won’t get the right results. If you understand the science, however, then you can experiment. To become a really top-notch baker, you’d probably need to learn the chemistry behind successful baking.
This is true with NLP. Coaches often experiment with the steps of different techniques without understanding what each step is intended to do. Using the swish pattern as an example, Steve notes on his blog that he found more than a dozen videos online in which NLP practitioners failed to follow the steps of this pattern appropriately in order to successfully address unwanted habits. Those who left out some of the steps weren’t seeing successful results. He explained why it wasn’t working and the importance of each step in achieving success.
What Steve alerted me to again is the idea that you need to do things in a particular way in order to consistently have success. You have to follow the recipe.
My reading included works by two other authors who apply an understanding of neuroscience to influence behavior. Robert Cialdini’s Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion is about why people buy. It’s kind of a Bible for sales people. His new book is Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade. This is about how you can set in place principles or ideas prior to a sales conversation. There are certain things you can do to help people to get into a buying frame so they even consider buying. This book is useful because it’s based upon brain science. Not only does it help you understand how to conduct marketing and how to get people to take action, but it also equips you to recognize what’s going on. When reading this book, you begin to get an understanding of how to alter your own marketing based on what makes a difference for people.
Carmen Simon’s Impossible to Ignore: Creating Memorable Content to Influence Decisions is also based on neuroscience and research but focuses on message delivery instead of marketing. In his testimonial about this book, Cialdini notes that the author “has broken the mold by showing how to enhance memory for our good ideas—not just in ourselves but in others.” Here are some of the premises Simon shares:
- When your message is easy to remember, you become impossible to ignore.
- When something stands out, people won’t forget it.
- If your presentation is not significantly different, it won’t be remembered.
She points out that a willingness to be different, to be unusual and to take risks will make you stand out, and people will remember you. Her work is about putting the power of cognitive science to work for your business.
I’ve benefitted from reading each of these books and definitively recommend them for you and your coaching business.
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I like to collect stories about belief change experiences. If you have any interesting ones, let me know or post them below so I can comment on them in subsequent articles or posts.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
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Carey Peters’ and Stacey Morgenstern’s Step Into Your Spotlight event went really well, and over the course of those few days she spoke about her previous coaches and mentioned me several times. Because of that and my rather conspicuous involvement in a similar event in Las Vegas earlier this year, several people recognized and approached me during the conference.
Being in the spotlight helped me make new connections, but something else played a role as well. I intentionally practiced saying yes to my intuition and to my heart while I was at this event. When I got a sense that I was supposed to do something, I just did it without question. Every time I did this, something extraordinary happened. For example, feeling an impulse to leave one lunch table, I ended up at another one and promptly met someone who wanted me to become his coach. During a 15-minute impromptu coaching encounter on a separate occasion, I helped one woman resolve a lifelong issue. Finally, over the course of a 20-minute conversation and coaching experience with someone else, I was able to assist her in making a significant “shift.”
All of this was pretty powerful. I initially set this intention—of saying yes to my heart—prior to Carey’s Las Vegas event. It had become woven into my consciousness because of working with Marcia Wieder for a year and recognizing the importance of following your dreams.
So learn to develop your ability to listen to a deeper message. It may not make rational sense, but if you follow that intuition, it will likely result in a very positive experience. My experience with this kind of intuition is that if it is positively motivated, it ends up “doing good” in the world. It can lead to random acts of kindness with a snowballing pass-it-on effect.
When I grow curious and wonder why this works, I think it’s because I’ve done hypnosis, which allows you to put in place the belief of self-trust and a willingness to accept what happens as a meaningful or positive experience, even if at the moment it doesn’t seem to be. When you become used to working with your unconscious mind, you spend less time questioning and more time trusting what’s happening. When we get caught up in needing reasonable explanations, the conscious mind intervenes, but this kind of experience doesn’t follow rational thinking. An openness to this kind of experience—to intuition—alerts your unconscious mind to opportunities in your environment that rationally may not appear as opportunities.
It can take a lifetime to develop the ability to follow your heart and trust your intuition. It’s like using a muscle; it requires exercise to fully develop it. So if you want to tap into a wealth of opportunities your unconscious mind can provide, practice listening to your heart and following your intuition.
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I like to collect stories about belief change experiences. If you have any interesting ones, let me know or post them below so I can comment on them in subsequent articles or posts.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
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Sherry Cameron’s prep time with Terry and the makeup artist during her VIP Retreat
During our VIP Retreat last week, Judy and I assisted Sherry Cameron, a nurse from Texas who’s becoming a health coach. I spent a day helping Sherry get anchored in a powerful state, and then Judy’s film-industry makeup artist took over. Before applying any makeup, he talked to Sherry about what she was doing and how she wanted to appear. In the photo shoot, she looked like a model. Next, Judy directed Sherry through the filming of a promotional video for her new business.
At one point during this experience, it occurred to me that VIP could stand for Very Integrated Person. When everything is lined up—when your mission matches your identity and is fully aligned with your beliefs, values and behaviors—you get better results. I also learned the importance of helping someone look her best. I saw what happens when you assist in creating an internal environment of looking your best and then have that person appear on camera and video looking her best.
This was our first VIP Retreat, and I would definitely mark it up as a success. Sherry was really happy. When your client is happy, that’s a good indicator, but the most powerful indicator is when you and your client BOTH think you’ve done a good job!
If you want to show up in a powerful and congruent way, and if doing so is part of your brand, then one of the best ways to appear to your audience is through video. But first, make sure you are a VIP!
Are you a Very Integrated Person?
If you think you might want to attend a VIP Retreat, call me at 520.237.4435 or email terry@terryhickey.com.
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I like to collect stories about belief change experiences. If you have any interesting ones, let me know or post them below so I can comment on them in subsequent articles or posts.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
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Last month I talked about achieving your dreams by “losing” reality. This month I want to talk about another key to successfully accomplishing your dreams, one that requires you to get back to reality—planning.
First, you need to set up your ideal dream-planning environment. As I mentioned earlier, Beth and I recently spent a full day focused on our dreams. We recognized that getting away from our home and offices would be necessary to set up our ideal dream conditions, so we retreated to a resort.
Next, decide exactly what you want to work on. Once on site, we each picked our top three dreams to work on. Because we were approaching this as a couple, we looked at creating dreams for “self” as well as “we” space.
Finally, figure out how to make your dreams happen. We determined who each of us would need to be in order to carry out specific dreams—what identity we would need to take on in order to make each dream possible.
There is one caveat to all of this: Do not move too quickly into the planning process. Doing so could cause you to lose the positive feelings inspired by the dream. Savor your dream before you begin planning.
Because of our retreat I was able to come up with a tentative plan: I’ll be going on the road to visit friends from my childhood in Peru, from high school and beyond. I’ll also connect with coaching clients and other people I’ve met at conferences over the years. I’ll get an inflatable kayak to spend time on rivers, inland lakes and shorelines, and I’ll bring along my mountain bike. Additionally, Beth and I will do things together. This dream-planning exercise reconnected me to how much adventuring used to be part of my life. Making this dream happen involves reconnecting with people while kayaking and mountain biking at various locations around the country, allowing for an even greater adventure.
Our retreat also led Beth and I to talk about our lifestyle and what we want it to look like in the future. What do we really want to be doing? Our house and rental property have required a lot of upkeep over the last month, so those have been part of the discussion. We’re making changes with the house and tentatively talking about downsizing. I’ll tell you more about my plans after Beth and I finish our follow-up retreat(s).
What about your plans? Are you well on your way to achieving what you want, or do you need to reconsider your dreams and set aside time to make new plans?
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I like to collect stories about belief change experiences. If you have any interesting ones, let me know or post them below so I can comment on them in subsequent articles or posts.
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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
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This question alone presupposes that success is a measure or reflection of the actions you’re willing to take.
It’s easy to do what is easy for you—the problem is when what you need to do to be successful is difficult to do. When studies take a look at successful entrepreneurs and businesses, one thing they all have in common is their willingness to do what it takes to succeed. In general, this meant doing the things that were difficult, things that took determination.
Not that you can’t delegate, but you may need to make that extra telephone call, write that extra e-mail, or make that decision that affects your finances… because the failure to do so might slow the growth of your business or movement.
Spend some time thinking about the answer to this: “What are the steps that, if I took them, would make a difference in my business?”
This question presupposes that you actually know the steps and that something would need to happen for you to take them. If you discover that you don’t yet know the steps, that in and of itself can preclude you from taking action.
These seemingly simple questions can generate the kind of answers that, if you’re willing to act on them, will give you big results.
I’ve been watching my spouse define her new business. She’s been an inspiration because she’s been putting in long hours to make it happen. It hasn’t been easy; it’s been a struggle. At times she’s been frustrated, and it’s only been her commitment to following through the process that has made her stick with it.
So if you’re struggling (and if you’re in business, of course you are), it just means that you’re on the right track, and you need to ask yourself these questions.
Since you’re used to me talking about beliefs, I haven’t left those out. As you ask yourself the questions above, you’re likely to come across some of the following questions that reveal underlying beliefs:
- Is the struggle worth it?
- Are you capable of achieving success?
- Will what you do make a difference?
You’re not likely to get to these beliefs unless you’re willing to take on the questions above. Answering all of these questions for yourself will reveal if you’re willing to do what it takes to succeed.
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I would love to hear how well this approach works for you. Share your feedback and comments below.
P.S. Do you want to share this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
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Energize Your Business and Boost Your Income!
“Dog Days” are the hottest, most sultry days of summer. In the Northern Hemisphere, the dog days of summer are most commonly experienced in the months of July and August, which typically observe the warmest summer temperatures.
When their clients cut back during the summer, many coaches experience a personal slowdown. Although this is frustrating and might even deflate your confidence, it is the perfect time to reset your thermostat.
Most of my clients in the summer ask me one HUGE question:
“How do I quickly get unstuck and regain my momentum?”
If you could resolve this #1 question, it would energize your business and boost your income.
My Belief Breakthrough Method™ programs are well known for providing rapid answers to this question, and I have traditionally offered them as part of a six-month commitment with an in-person component.
But now, for the first time…
I am thrilled to offer you a “condensed” version of the Belief Breakthrough Method: a virtual coaching opportunity that will allow you to take advantage of the possibility for rapid breakthroughs right away.
If you are feeling the effects of a sultry summer slowdown, it’s time for a Break Out Of the Dog Days of Summer Retreat!
Join me for this rejuvenating half-day retreat by phone or video chat. (If you have access, we’ll use Skype or FaceTime for an in-person touch!) Through this Belief Breakthrough Method™ program, you’ll get…
• A Pre-session Questionnaire to clarify your specific frustrations and goals
• A 4-hour Retreat to identify and break through what’s been holding you back
• Specific Strategies and Techniques to keep you on track
• Two Follow-up Sessions to ensure your results
And to make all of this do-able, this retreat is available for an investment of just $2,397 (a mere fraction of the usual cost).
You will finally get the personal attention and rapid belief breakthroughs you’ve been waiting for so that you have the self-confidence to apply your business knowledge and advance your income.
The Break Out Of the Dog Days of Summer Retreat is right for you if you…
• Are active in your business and have invested in coaching training but are not taking the actions to achieve the results you know you are capable of
• Want results quickly and are tired of telling yourself and others why you are not where you want to be
• Keep meaning to do life-changing work with me and think you can’t afford it, but you know the cost of doing nothing is too high
Call me to discover if the time is right for this opportunity: 520.237.4435.
Register by August 31, to receive these bonuses:
• A Personalized Belief Breakthrough Hypnotic Recording tailored specifically for you to resolve unconscious blocks to your business success and accelerate achieving your goals.
• A $500 Discount for attending a Belief Breakthrough Method™ Coaches’ Intensive Program, where you will learn how to be a highly-paid coach by creating immediate results for your clients. This transformative training provides intensive attention and education in a small-group experience. (If you register by noon on August 31, you’ll receive a special code for $500 off the listed price of the Intensive.)
So are you ready to energize your business and boost your income?!
Sign up for your Break Out Of the Dog Days of Summer Retreat today:
Register Now!
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Are you working way too hard in your business for too little results? Does it seem that no matter how much marketing or “stuff” you’re checking off your to-do list, you’re still not attracting the kinds of clients and success you know is possible for you?
If you’re ready to discover what’s really blocking the flow of the clients, income and opportunities you seek, you’re going to LOVE this no-cost resource from my friend and colleague, Elizabeth Purvis:
“The Art Of Feminine Magic:
How To Move Through Fear, Rock Your Natural Confidence And Consciously Call In All The Clients, Income And Opportunities You Desire – With Feminine Style”
On this super-juicy, high-content training call, you’ll discover:
- The secret reason why “attraction” can feel like work, and what to do instead to create results with ease and flow (instead of struggle)
- Why conscious manifestation is a practice you MUST master to run a spirit-rich business, just like marketing and sales
- The #1 biggest roadblock that stops women entrepreneurs from allowing more clients, more income, more positive attention and more opportunities into their lives
- Feminine secrets to becoming magnetic to awesome, high-paying clients
- The 1 simple step you can take each day to attract an overflow of new clients and opportunities to your business – starting right now
- How to go from “accidental creator” to being the Divine Feminine Magician of your business and life – so you can claim your space, impact more lives and make more money doing what you love
The secret to success is NOT working harder – it’s mastering some simple keys to make what you want happen automatically, without struggle. Elizabeth is known for helping her clients make big income leaps very quickly – she can show you how!
Register for the call here (and get the recording too).
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Rest assured this post will not be about espousing the beliefs of one particular party over the other. What I do want to explain is how well-intentioned people can come up with widely different meanings from the exact same event.
Beliefs themselves are generalizations from experience or experiences. Once a belief is in place, it is sustained by two processes: distortion and deletion. Distortion means that when an event or occurrence is different from the pre-held belief, we go through a process of making a different meaning or coming up with an explanation that fits our pre-existing belief. Deletion happens when something contrary to our beliefs is ignored—it’s as though it never happened. Beliefs rarely are changed by direct confrontation; the opposite is true, for they tend to become more entrenched.
One concrete way we allow deletion to continue is by pre-selecting the kind of information we expose ourselves to. I don’t think it would come as a surprise to anyone that news channels often have a recognized bias. That is equally true with radio outlets, publications, websites, etc. It is unlikely that you will change beliefs if your reading or listening preferences are not challenged.
This plays out in another way also. Political speak on both sides uses words and terms in imprecise ways. For example, you will often hear a politician say, “the American people want ______ (fill in the blank)” as though there is an entity called “American people” that thinks in a unique way. This is particularly interesting when polls often suggest a near-even split about issues.
Words like “always” or “never” go unchallenged, and then there’s the all-time favorite: “everyone knows.” What’s interesting about these patterns is that listeners tend to fill in their own meanings rather than asking for specificity. An example of asking for specificity would be to inquire, “Who specifically knows?”
Another example that can be heard from spokesman on both sides is a variation of “We’re going to take back the country from…” One response to that might be “Take it back from whom, specifically?” or “Take it back how, exactly?” In order for the initial statement to make sense, you have to understand what is presupposed. Somehow the country was “given away” or “taken,” so knowing how specifically one thinks of that helps to create more understanding.
Will reading this cause one to shift beliefs? Unlikely. What it may do is encourage critical thinking. One of the downsides of learning about beliefs is that listening to political speeches becomes a very different experience. I often assign my students the task of listening to debates or political channels so they can catalog and then write appropriate challenges to what they hear. It matters not what channel you choose because there will be plenty of examples to learn from.
So what do you think (specifically)? I welcome your comments below.
P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
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This month’s article was prompted by a question from a reader about how to best use behavioral change techniques. This is a good question for two reasons: First, we have access to many behavioral techniques, so we get to ask, “Which technique do you use for what problem—and when?” Second, we get to ask, “What actually makes behavioral techniques work in different contexts?”
Before you can choose what behavioral technique to use—or even if you will choose a behavioral technique, you need to know what your client wants. Make sure both of you agree on this outcome or goal, because otherwise you will be working at cross-purposes.
Next, explore in depth if anything would get in the way of doing the technique. Can he or she commit congruently? If so, proceed, paying close attention to what your client would have to believe or hold as true in order to get the desired outcome. If you discover that changing a belief is part of the equation, then you will need to use a belief change technique before you can use a behavioral change technique.
Ultimately, the skill you must develop is knowing when to explore belief change processes. This requires a long learning process, but it is crucial, because continuing to try behavioral change processes at the wrong time will only frustrate you and your client. Behavioral techniques should only be used after any necessary belief changes have been addressed.
As for what makes behavioral techniques work in different contexts, I will address that in January. In subsequent posts I will cover how to understand what skills are required to make determinations about what process to use and how to know when you are working on areas of belief processes.
I would love to hear how well this approach works for you. Share your feedback and comments below.
P.S. Do you want to share this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
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I just finished a recent training with David Gordon, one of the world’s best NLP trainers and thinkers. David gave a powerful interactive presentation on what he calls the Belief Change Template. He highlighted in his training that working with limiting beliefs is ALWAYS necessary to maintain important behavioral changes.
Given that beliefs are usually unconscious, how do you discover them? Well, David uses the Belief Change Template to uncover beliefs by exploring and discovering your criteria and how those criteria are expressed and operationalized. Dealing with beliefs at the conscious level (i.e., “just change what you believe” or “just adopt this belief”) is the least effective way to do change work.
He showed us how to do belief change work in a visual fashion so you can actually see the results, and it is in the seeing that the “ah-ha” moments come. David did a live demonstration with an attendee who discovered through the process how one of her criteria “to do it perfect” was so overwhelming that she became paralyzed by inaction—or by too much action. As she saw this in front of her, she realized as an observer what she had been doing to herself.
What David says—and what I believe—is that when someone goes through this process, they can then spontaneously shift a belief and then a behavior or implement a new behavior. Learning how to be good at using the template takes some time, but it is well worth it.
To take your coaching to a higher level, develop a way to help your clients discover limiting unconscious beliefs. If you want to learn more about David’s work in this area explore http://expandyourworld.net/dggd.php.
If you’d like to know more about the Belief Change Template or other approaches for facilitating transformational change, contact me at Terry@terryhickey.com.
Thanks,
Terry Hickey
The Belief Change Alchemist
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
