Gather 5 Essential Components of Information
That Turbocharge Change
High-end coaches achieve their success by developing their own interpretations of problems and specific strategies to solve these problems—complete with templates and checklists! This information has great value for many people. However, as we know, people are unique. The more you can apply your expertise and utilize the uniqueness of each client, the more your success will soar. If you do not not sufficiently engage your clients’ perceptions, they may feel judged or disappointed, which can lead to having them question your abilities or drop out.
One clue that you are not taking your clients’ uniqueness into account is if you find yourself “arguing” or trying to convince your clients what their real problems are.
For example, one of my clients had dropped out of a program after being told she was “sabotaging her success.” She felt inadequate and stuck. Through a careful questioning process, I discovered that she was attempting to satisfy two important values and, of course, remained in conflict. She had been totally unaware of her internal dilemma, and as I helped highlight and resolve the internal dilemma, she took action.
So how do we as coaches get a full picture of our clients’ experience, understanding and meaning in regards to their problems? We already know it’s important to discover particulars about the problem and what our clients want. But that’s not enough.
There are actually five basic components that go into effective problem solving and the mental-emotional organizing of data. The S.C.O.R.E. Model, developed by NLP visionary Robert Dilts, provides a way for coaches to gather and organize information in order to make good decisions and create effective changes.
The letters stand for Symptoms, Causes, Outcomes, Resources and Effects. These elements represent the minimum amount of information that needs to be addressed by any process of change or healing.
- Symptoms are typically the most noticeable and conscious aspects of a client’s problem.
- Causes are the underlying elements responsible for creating and maintaining the symptoms.
- Outcomes are the particular goals or desired states that would take the place of the symptoms.
- Resources are the underlying elements responsible for removing the causes of the symptoms and for manifesting and maintaining the desired outcomes.
- Effects are the longer-term results of achieving a particular outcome.
Once you and your clients know these five components, the “right” information can be gathered so that action can be quickly taken. There are specific questions connected to each component allowing you to understand your client’s perspective so that you can implement the right interventions. I will describe these questions in future articles.
Begin by taking this action step on the S.C.O.R.E. model today:
Choose a client who is struggling. Make one card for each component of the S.C.O.R.E. model. Then ask yourself two important questions:
- “Do I have information that applies to each component?” and
- “Do we have a shared understanding of this information?”
If not, ask the client to elaborate further.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.http://terryhickey.com/
As your business expands, one of the biggest challenges is determining how to get everything done in order to keep the expansion going. If you don’t solve this issue, you will likely end up dealing with burnout, frustration and a reduction in potential income.
You know you’re experiencing this struggle if you find yourself saying, “I have trouble managing my schedule,” or you find yourself talking about the need to have balance in your life. Another indicator is if you are not attending to the things you value, e.g. relationships, kids, working out, etc.
One of my clients is expanding her business and recently mentioned such challenges. She said, “I’m struggling with finding enough time to manage my business.” What I said to her in response was, “It’s not that you don’t have enough time. It’s that you don’t have clear criteria about how to spend your time.”
So how can you solve this common, but important, issue?
- Set time to clarify criteria. Even though this is a potentially difficult task, knowing what is most important to you will allow you to commit time in alignment with your criteria.
- To set your criteria, do the following:
- Ask, “What are the most important actions to grow my business?”
- Ask, “What is the one activity that would make the biggest difference?”
- Imagine your business having achieved the success you want. Stand up and step into that successful business and ask, “What were the most important actions that got me here? Which of my beliefs were most significant in getting me here?”
- Once you have clarified your most important actions and supporting beliefs, determine what you can do and what needs to be delegated… then make it happen.
While doing the exercise above, you will likely discover limiting unconscious beliefs, such as “It’s not OK to devote time to what I think is important,” or “What I want doesn’t matter,” or “What’s important to me must satisfy or please others.” If empowering beliefs do not replace these limiting beliefs, it will be nearly impossible to implement your criteria.
So set time to clarify what is most important to grow your business, resolve limiting beliefs, and delegate those tasks that no longer serve what you most value. Then your actions will be focused on what most matters to you and your business.
So are you willing to take the time to discover your important criteria?
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.http://terryhickey.com/
So you’ve set in place that new program, new product, new service or new launch that’s designed to take your business to the next level. At first you’re proud of yourself, but then you begin to focus on what you might do wrong…
- You micro-analyze your performance in the teleclass you just did, complaining that even though you had 100 participants, you should have had 200.
- You begin wondering if the right person is going to show up for your call or your offering.
- You worry that you haven’t priced it right and they can’t afford it.
- You tell yourself you should have said this instead of that.
Soon you discover that you’re having trouble sleeping—or you’re waking up anxious. Because of your fear you stop taking specific actions like calling a potential client or following up on expected tasks and e-mails. You even start missing deadlines.
Does this sound like you?
If so, rest assured that you’ve done nothing wrong. You’re actually right on target. The good news is that with the appropriate approach, such fear can be the key to great success.
There are three things you can do to transform your fear and reap success.
- Recognize that you’re only having this fear because you’re stretching yourself. Stepping up to a higher level requires you to stretch and experience the discomfort that comes with trying something new in order to get what you want. People who don’t stretch won’t feel this. Instead, they’ll experience the regret of not gaining what they want because they haven’t pushed themselves
- Transform fearful questions into empowering ones. Pay attention to the kind of questions you’ve been asking yourself and discover what you need to ask yourself instead. For example…
- Don’t ask yourself “Why aren’t more people showing up for my teleclass?”Instead, you need to ask, “What number of people do I want to show up, and how can I make that happen?”
- Likewise, don’t say, “What if the right person doesn’t show up?”Rather, you should ask, “Who is the ideal person for the program, and what would make them want to come?”
The answers to these new questions reveal the action steps you need to take.
- Recognize your comparisons. Think about who you are comparing yourself to when you think you’re not doing enough—or not doing the right thing.
- Using the teleclass mentioned earlier as an example, if it had 100 participants and you felt it should have had 200, ask yourself, “According to whom or what standards?”You’ll probably find that you’re comparing yourself to someone who’s already doing better than you because they have more experience. Think about how they got where they are and recognize that it’s natural to compare yourself to those who are already doing better. When not used to judge yourself, such comparisons can serve to motivate, which can lessen anxiety.
- Look at your own growth. As a more useful comparative, notice what you have done since last month or last year. Recognize how much you’ve accomplished over time.
Keep in mind that while some fear can be good, too much can create paralysis. So put your fears to work for you, and step up to a higher level with confidence!
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
One goal in coaching is to avoid bringing out or strengthening a client’s resistance. Ultimately, how you as a coach deal with your clients’ resistance determines success.
We as coaches sometimes take the easy way out with “difficult clients” by attributing resistance and lack of success to the client’s personality. However, consider that client resistance is mainly determined by the coach (although there will always be exceptions).
Research in behavioral science has confirmed that the extent to which clients “resist” is powerfully determined by the therapist’s style. This means that client resistance is a coach’s problem. And developing a style that minimizes resistance is important for your clients’ success as well as your own.
So what is resistance?
From my perspective, resistance appears as observable behavior that occurs during sessions. It can signal the coach that the client is not keeping up. The client is saying, “Wait a minute. I don’t agree. I’m not with you.” The task at this point is to double back, discover where the client is, and attend to that point.
To do this, you need to be able to recognize resistance when it is happening. Consider beginning to notice if your client engages in any of these 4 major categories of resistance as defined in Behavior Therapy by Chamberlain et al.:
- Arguing: Your client questions your expertise or integrity
- Interrupting: Your client interrupts you in a defensive manner by talking over you or cutting you off
- Denying: Your client expresses an unwillingness to recognize problems or minimizes them; disagrees with suggestions but offers no constructive alternatives, i.e., “Yes, but…”; blames others and does not accept responsibility; makes excuses for own behavior; or is reluctant or unwilling to take advice
- Ignoring: Your client shows evidence of not paying attention to you or ignoring you
Resistant responses are normal during initial coaching and not a reason for concern. It does become a problem, however, if resistant responses persist or escalate during a session or throughout the coaching process. It is largely your behavior as the coach that determines whether initial reluctance turns into a persistent pattern. It is how you respond to client resistance that makes the difference, and that distinguishes Belief Breakthrough Method™ work from other approaches.
So consider paying careful attention to these signs of resistance and take the time to slow down and catch up with your client. Begin by simply acknowledging the client’s disagreement, emotion, or perception so that further exploration—rather than defensiveness—occurs.
Next month I will cover more specific strategies for handling resistance.
P.S. Do you want to share this information? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.
http://terryhickey.com/
“Criteria and values are a special category of beliefs. They are beliefs you hold about why something is important or worthwhile. They are very powerful and individualized.”
From Beliefs: Pathways to Health & Well-Being
by Robert Dilts, Tim Hallbom and Suzi Smith
Recognizing the importance of criteria is critical when you want to help increase someone’s motivation or make choices that will ultimately lead to a more satisfying life. When we fail to satisfy our criteria, it becomes difficult to get motivated or to stay motivated.
One way you can discover how criteria works is to ask yourself, “What do you want in a job?” Your answer will include words like “opportunities,” “people I really enjoy,” “compensation,” etc. These words are the doorways to your criteria. If these criteria aren’t largely satisfied by your current position, you’ll be unhappy in your work.
Apply a similar question to a relationship or potential relationship in order to determine your criteria for that. Your satisfaction with the relationship will be high or low based upon whether or not your criteria are being met.
If you were working with someone to improve their job satisfaction, you would want to elicit their criteria and then describe their job so that the criteria are largely met. Then see if their job can be structured in a way that fits the description and meets their criteria.
You can help people design or implement the criteria for their relationships in a similar manner—describing the relationship in a way that meets their criteria and then discussing changes to the relationship that might lead to more criteria being met.
It is important to set aside time for criteria such as “communication” or “opportunities to learn” to improve relationships and jobs. Being able to satisfy such criteria will increase overall satisfaction and motivation.
Additionally, it is important to remember that each of us arranges our criteria hierarchically. If someone tells you that “having fun” and “earning a living” are both important, you want to determine which of the two criteria is first. Dig around for specifics, such as dollars and cents.
In this case you might say, “I understand that you want to make sure you’re making a living and having fun while doing it.” Then ask the following serious of questions.
“How much money do you consider enough to constitute earning a living?”
“Could you be happy if you had to earn less than that in order to have fun?”
“Would you rather have more fun and a little less money or a little more money and a little less fun?”
In the last scenario, you are introducing a new variable—one of degree. The degree, or measurable extent of difference, can affect the preferred criteria. In this case the degree to which one job option is more fun versus the amount of increased income for another might influence the person’s choice.
Overall, you need to help clients determine which criteria are most important to them and what they can do to make sure their criteria are met. You also have to acknowledge their criteria in order of importance, or it will not resonate with them.
In many cases, you will want to use a client’s exact words… and emphasis. People emphasize words for a reason, and if you repeat things back to them in their words, they will be more likely to feel that you “get” them. In fact, doing so increases the likelihood that you really will understand them.
Understanding client’s criteria will go a long way towards helping them increase their motivation and make more satisfying choices.
Ask one of your clients, “What do you want in a job (or relationship, etc.)?” Then come back here and share how this information created the framework to motivate your client.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
