Author Archive

Mar
28

Listen to Your Gut AND Follow Your Heart

Posted by: | Comments (1)

This article comes from the March download and is about helping you discover the wisdom of your body. Recent research has confirmed ancient knowledge about the body. We now know that the “gut” contains neuro-transmitters and neuro-connections that are the equivalent of a cat’s brains. In fact, the digestive system has more neurons than the spinal cord and has been called the second brain of the human body.

This remarkable system has the ability to make sense of information from the outside and process it, conveying a sense of “butterflies” when we experience something new, different or exciting. So those of you who “trust your gut” or react to a “gut instinct” are actually tapping into the wisdom in your body.

For those of you who want to “follow your heart” or “live your heart’s desire,” it turns out that the heart itself has an amazing amount of computing power. It has a memory and can process complex emotions, so don’t let people talk you out of following your heart or listening to your heart.

Ultimately, the key is to integrate your gut instincts and your heart’s desire with the ability to think logically. These are all important ways to understand your world experiences, and it is likely that you have developed one more than the others. One is not better than another, just different; so don’t let anyone talk you out of your preferred way of making sense of what’s going on around you. You’re just manifesting a different kind of intelligence.

Neuro-gastroenterologists believe that listening to your stomach can help you strengthen your immune system, and the Institute of HeartMath has been working on ways to tap into the intelligence of the brain and the heart. You can learn more about these topics via the March download and the resources below.

Additional Reading

Basic and Clinical Neurocardiology by J. Andrew Armour and Jeffrey L. Ardell
The Heart’s Code: Tapping the Wisdom and Power of Our Heart Energy by Paul Pearsall
The Second Brain: The Scientific Basis of Gut Instinct and a Groundbreaking New Understanding of Nervous Disorders of the Stomach and Intestines by Michael Gershon
Institute of HeartMath

I would love to hear what you think about this research. Share your feedback and comments below.

P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

Comments (1)
Mar
27

Salka’s Emergency

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on Salka’s Emergency

[written 3/12/12]

Salka endures a chiropractic session for his injury.

I’m sitting on my patio working outside because I am attending to Salka, our Alaskan Malamute, who suffered a fractured scapula on Sunday. One minute he was in a game of chase with Oliver, the Chesapeake Bay Retriever next door, and the next he was howling like a hurt puppy. It was clear something had happened, and I could see he was favoring one of his right feet.

I had just come from my soccer game and was still dressed in my uniform, so I quickly changed shoes, and then we had to get him into the SUV. It was hard not only because he weighs in at a solid 90 pounds but also because he was in pain from being lifted.

The whole emergency vet service experience seemed like going to a hospital ER, but the people were friendlier. He received X-rays, and we had to wait for them to be interpreted. Then after many hours the verdict, a broken scapula, that would not require surgery but does require six to eight weeks of rest. Ha! They don’t know this Malamute, who likes to go for as many walks as possible.

Well, we have had to rearrange our house to accommodate a dog who can no longer get up off slippery tile. We’ve had to pull out old rugs to cover those bare areas. Most of all we have to shift our schedules and enlist Beth’s mother to be sure, at least for the first two weeks, that someone will be home with Salka to help him up and out to eliminate. Poor boy, he is still clearly hurting and uncomfortable.

When emergencies strike, how do you respond? I found myself stepping forward but then being scared and sad and taking out my frustration briefly with the vet clerk when I discovered what X-rays cost.

I could do a whole post on the cost of all medical care, including animal care, but I won’t.  What I can tell you is that I was happy to pay what it cost in order to relieve Salka of suffering. I suppose that I really don’t have a theme for this post other than to get my feelings out, because ultimately what most of my work has been about is helping people respond to the challenges in their lives. So I will keep readers apprised of his progress because after he recovers I want him to go back to his job of helping me promote my work. Salka asked that you keep him in your thoughts, and (LOL) send some positive thoughts and prayers my way also.

P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

Categories : Salka’s Notes
Comments Comments Off on Salka’s Emergency

A really common problem that coaches talk to me about is their struggle with certain kinds of clients. Some coaches struggle with clients who fail to take action, some with clients who are ambivalent about taking action, and some with clients who want you to do it for them. You may even share some of these struggles.

What is common with all of these clients is that they prompt feelings in us. Usually those feelings are difficult to be with, such as irritation, helplessness, frustration or even anger. Though the specific emotions may differ, what is often consistent from coach to coach is the difficulty we experience with such feelings. So what’s the solution?

One potential and powerful solution is to learn how to be with our own uncomfortable feelings. For this, I would like to offer a model from the work of Robert Dilts and his wife Deborah. It’s called the “COACH” model.

Understanding the COACH Model

COACH is an acronym for Centered, Open-minded attitude and state, Aware (alert and awake), Connected and Holding space. Let’s look at each of these.

What happens when you are centered? When you talk about being centered, you’re usually referring to a state of solidness and confidence, an overall sense of being at peace with yourself. In all of the martial arts, being centered is a prerequisite to being able to do the practice. It is usually felt in the muscles and in the belly. Being centered allows you to operate from your power.

An open-minded attitude makes possible curiosity and understanding. It means you’re able to suspend your own idea of what is so, focusing instead on what is so for your client. Your questions are intended to gather information so you can understand what is going on in your client’s life. Curiosity goes hand-in-hand with this state.

Awareness is a state that goes hand-in-hand with open-mindedness. Awareness requires a focus both inward and outward. It is the ability to notice and track what is going on with you. It is also linked to the state of being centered because centering itself requires setting an intent and having an awareness of how to achieve it. Awareness makes possible connection.

Connection is required to do your best work with your clients. Connection makes possible deep understanding and profound change. Connection is what makes NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) possible, and what makes NLP great is high-level connecting. Without a relationship and without connecting, coaching will suffer and might even be ineffective.

Holding refers to holding a space in which change becomes possible or likely. How many times have you said or heard it said, “I just want to hold a space for them”? You may have also heard clients say, “She held space for me so I was able to look at painful truths.” So there is recognition of the importance of “holding space.”

So what does all of this actually mean? It means that when you learn how to provide the four prerequisites: centered, open, aware and connected, you can create the prime conditions to hold space for your clients, enabling them to explore and discover their own truths, which makes change possible.

This is just an overview of the COACH model. There are some specific exercises and processes that can help you master this more easily. Notice that as your ability to manage your own state increases, change becomes more possible for your clients.

Are you ready to learn to use the COACH model for the sake of your clients?

I would love to hear how well the COACH Model works for you. Share your feedback and comments below.

P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

Categories : Coaching Tips
Comments (1)
Feb
13

Happy Valentine’s Day

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on Happy Valentine’s Day

Salka’s message to all of his faithful readers is to have a Happy Valentine’s Day! Go out and take a walk with the one(s) you love.

He also encourages you to have a peek at his latest video:

Categories : Salka’s Notes
Comments Comments Off on Happy Valentine’s Day
Feb
01

Learn to Be with Your Clients

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on Learn to Be with Your Clients

This month’s tip is about the importance of being able to be with powerful and often uncomfortable feelings. When you are confronted with strong feelings, your ability to welcome and be with those feelings will enhance your effectiveness with clients.

Given that you are asking your clients to stay with and process uncomfortable feelings, your ability to model that behavior is as important as any other work that you’ll do with them. It is one of the attributes that high-end coaches must develop.

This is at the heart of the idea of “holding space” for your clients. This also will resonate with the idea that what you resist persists. It’s often the feeling about the feeling that’s the problem, not the feeling itself. For instance, if you are welcoming of your fear, that’s different than being fearful of or embarrassed about your fear.

So in addition to being able to be with uncomfortable feelings, it’s the ability to have a welcoming, curious attitude that will allow you to manage what would otherwise be extremely difficult or even seem impossible.

As always, let me know how I can help. Just share a limiting-beliefs question that has been challenging you or a client, and I’d be happy to address it here or in a future issue of the newsletter. Call me at 520.237.4435 or e-mail me at Terry@terryhickey.com with your question.

Please feel free to share this tip with anyone you think might enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including the copyright information and the bio below. Thanks, and enjoy!

About Terry

Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.

Check out Terry’s website, http://terryhickey.com/, to find out more about his coaching, Belief Breakthrough Method opportunities and other services. Be sure to download his FREE audio interview: 3 Most Perilous Coaching Mistakes That Will Stop Your Clients in Their Tracks.

Categories : Coaching Tips
Comments Comments Off on Learn to Be with Your Clients
Jan
17

Making Changes at the Behavioral Level

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on Making Changes at the Behavioral Level

As you may recall, last month’s article was prompted by a question from a reader about how to best use behavioral change techniques. As promised, this month’s article continues that discussion, addressing the application of behavioral techniques in difference contexts.

Before you work on a behavioral change, it’s important to pay attention to the level at which the problem occurs. You need to be sure that you really are working at the behavioral level. (See my blog for information on this topic: Do You Know the Logical Levels for Successful Change?)

The next step is to establish a clear outcome and frame it in the positive. It should be a very clear goal expressed in terms of what is wanted—not what isn’t wanted. Rather than “I don’t want to be broke next year,” it should be reframed to say, “I want to make [specific income amount] in the coming year.”

Once you know what the client wants and what they have now, then the next question to ask is “What will bridge the gap?” Sometimes that can actually involve a behavioral technique. For example, someone might actually need a strategy for handling their appointment calendar. If that works, great. If not, you want to go back to the drawing board and ask, “What would have to happen so that you could manage your calendar the way you want to?” That question will likely tease out an underlying belief. If that’s the case, then you know the work is at the belief level.

Some of these questions might tease out a “part of me” answer: “Part of me wants to do this, and part wants to do that.” If that’s the case, you’ll need to do some integration work so that the parts can be in harmony.

As your coaching becomes more focused, you’ll discover that the work you are doing is more at the beliefs and values and the identity level than at the behavioral level.

Please feel free to share this tip with anyone you think might enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including the copyright information and the bio below. Thanks, and enjoy!

About Terry

Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.

Check out Terry’s website, http://terryhickey.com/, to find out more about his coaching, Belief Breakthrough Method opportunities and other services. Be sure to download his FREE audio interview: 3 Most Perilous Coaching Mistakes That Will Stop Your Clients in Their Tracks.

Categories : Beliefs, Coaching Tips
Comments Comments Off on Making Changes at the Behavioral Level
Jan
16

Do You Know the Logical Levels for Successful Change? (Part 2)

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on Do You Know the Logical Levels for Successful Change? (Part 2)

In my last post I shared the lower levels of logical change: environment, behaviors and capabilities. Now I’m going to move on to the upper levels. Changes that occur at one or more of these levels—for you or your clients—are more likely to be successful and sustained.

  • Beliefs and Values: this level addresses how you organize your experience in the world; remember, a belief is a generalization from experience. Beliefs are adopted early on and become our guiding force, not learning from life. For example, if I believe the world is safe, my experiences will be very different from those of someone who thinks the world is dangerous. Given that beliefs rarely exist independent of one another, we each have systems of beliefs that can create problems when they don’t work together.

    Underlying beliefs affect the lower levels of change. Oftentimes changes at the lower levels—environment, behaviors and capabilities—won’t last if the beliefs that hold them in place are not addressed.

  • Identity: this level is crucial because it determines who you are in the world and how you think of yourself in relation to others. For example, saying “I am a golfer” represents an identity—who you are—and is different from saying “I play golf,” which only refers to something you do.

    Your identity influences how you move through the world and what you do or don’t do. Saying “I’m not the kind of person who takes risks” means that your new learning experiences will be limited. Describing yourself as a “risk taker” has different implications and may result in dangerous behaviors that do not serve you well.

    What I understand when I’m working with people is that the identity you hold may need to be adapted or shifted in order for a significant change to happen in your life. Identity has an impact on all the levels beneath it.

  • Mission or Purpose: this speaks to, “What’s more important than me?” or “What’s larger than me?” Teachers often answer this by saying that they get to have an impact on children—that it’s the most important thing they can do. Mission is crucial. That’s why people struggle at a job that to them has no purpose. When people recover from illnesses that were supposedly terminal, it is often because of mission, or remission—acquiring a new sense of purpose. For many, having a connection with God or a higher power makes a difference, feeling a bond with something larger than themselves.

Change can happen at any one of these levels, but you need to recognize at what level the work is being done. For example, sometimes a reframe doesn’t quite sell because it’s at the wrong level.

It’s also essential to know at what level a problem exists. Coaches are often trained to work at the behavioral level, yet problems usually are not behavioral—or not just behavioral. There’s often an underlying belief at another, higher level that may prevent a change at this lower level from making a difference.

Understanding the relationships between and among all these levels can profoundly influence the way you work with people. Ultimately, you want to create alignment at all six levels. When everything is aligned for a client, their actions will be more effective and precise, they won’t waste energy, and they’ll have more success.

Are your values, identity and mission congruent with your goals? Do you have a client who needs to make a change at one of these levels to support his or her goals?

P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

Categories : Beliefs, Coaching Tips
Comments Comments Off on Do You Know the Logical Levels for Successful Change? (Part 2)

When people say, “Well, at one level I believe this, but at another level, it’s this,” it shows that they are thinking about issues at different levels. Whether they know it or not, they are referring to logical levels of thinking or change.

There are six levels that I hold as important in whatever change work I do. They can be useful for understanding change from an individual or an organizational point of view. Let me explain…

  • Environment: change at this level implies making a change in one’s environment; it could involve bringing in an organizational specialist to rearrange an office environment in support of a mission or job, or it could be as simple as reorganizing furniture, adjusting the temperature or making ergonomic changes.
  • Behaviors: this addresses what you do; to create behavioral changes you might bring in the same organizational person to teach a set of behaviors to maximize the environmental changes, which could range from new methods of doing simple tasks to things such as assertiveness training or behavioral intervention.
  • Capabilities: this refers to how you organize your behaviors—the strategies people come up with to carry out behaviors, whether for work or play; it involves thinking at a higher level about how behaviors are organized. (For some the problem is that they don’t have a strategy on this level. For example, many people claim they don’t know how to make decisions, but the actual problem is that they don’t know how to put one set of criteria ahead of another; they don’t have a strategy for making their decisions.)

Before I describe the rest, keep in mind that there is a hierarchy to these levels. These first three—environment, behaviors and capabilities—are the lower levels of thinking. It’s tougher to successfully make a change if you intervene at a lower level, at least in terms of making systemic changes. I’ll share information about the upper levels in my next post.

In the meanwhile, can you think of a change you’d like to make at one of these levels? Is there something in YOUR environment that needs to be adjusted to support your goals?

P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

Categories : Beliefs, Coaching Tips
Comments (1)
Jan
04

How Can You Help People Move Forward?

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on How Can You Help People Move Forward?

Many subscribers have told me that they really enjoy my newsletter, especially the hints provided in Tips and “How Tos.” This post represents the first of a monthly offering of tips based upon reader questions. If you are not already signed up for my newsletter, you can subscribe here (FREE):

Belief Change Alchemy.

Several subscribers took up the recent challenge to ask me a question. One reader sent this question: “How can you help people move forward rather than creating resistance?”

The quickest way to create cooperation rather than resistance is to make sure that you have a clear agreement about what you’re working on. This is also known as “the goal.” It is important that the goal states what they want, not what they don’t want.

For example, if someone starts with the goal of “I don’t want to be in debt,” that needs to be framed differently. One alternative would be to say that they “want enough income to be able to pay down my debt.” This is much more than a subtle distinction.

Another important part of this process is to ask, “What will happen for you when you achieve this goal?” This question will link you up to what’s really important for a person, which will increase their motivation.

Make sure that you’re using their words and descriptions, not changing the language to fit your ideas of what they want.

Just doing these two things will vastly cut down on a client’s resistance or “stuck-ness.”

As always, let me know how I can help. Just share a limiting-beliefs question that has been challenging you or a client, and I’d be happy to address it here or in a future issue of the newsletter. Call me at 520.237.4435 or e-mail me at Terry@terryhickey.com with your question.

Please feel free to share this tip with anyone you think might enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including the copyright information and the bio below. Thanks, and enjoy!

About Terry

Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.

Check out Terry’s website, http://terryhickey.com/, to find out more about his coaching, Belief Breakthrough Method opportunities and other services. Be sure to download his FREE audio interview: 3 Most Perilous Coaching Mistakes That Will Stop Your Clients in Their Tracks.

Categories : Beliefs, Coaching Tips
Comments Comments Off on How Can You Help People Move Forward?
Nov
15

The One Question That Immediately Puts You On Track For Results

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on The One Question That Immediately Puts You On Track For Results

In last month’s article How To Stop Convincing Your Clients To Change—Gather 5 Essential Components of Information That Turbo Charges Change, I described the basic components involved in effective problem-solving.

These five basic components, known by the acronym S.C.O.R.E. (Symptoms, Causes, Outcomes, Resources and Effects) represent the minimum amount of information coaches need to help their clients change and heal:

  • Symptoms are typically the most noticeable and conscious aspects of a client’s problem.
  • Causes are the underlying elements responsible for creating and maintaining the symptoms.
  • Outcomes are the particular goals or desired states that would take the place of the symptoms.
  • Resources are the underlying elements responsible for removing the causes of the symptoms and for manifesting and maintaining the desired outcomes.
  • Effects are the longer-term results of achieving a particular outcome.

There are specific questions connected to each component that will allow you to understand your client’s perspective. In this article I offer one key question to elicit symptoms from your clients so you can get the “right” information, leading you to take the most effective action.

The one key question for symptoms is this:

In which context do you experience your symptoms?

This question is intended to reveal whether your client experiences the symptom within a specific event or context or whether the symptom is experienced in several contexts. For example, your client may feel nervous only when making presentations. Or your client may feel anxiety across many contexts in relating to people.

If the symptom occurs during a specific event, context-specific resources to build confidence—such as changing how your client pictures the event or adding resources of confidence and enjoyment—may be sufficient.

But if your client feels nervous across many contexts, then the intervention needs to address a “deeper” level within the client. It is likely the client identifies with being a nervous person, and the resources will need to be more robust. Coaches then need interventions to transform the client’s limiting identity and create an identity capable of creating the results the client wants. For example, asking, “Who will you be when this issue is far behind you?” will begin to open your client’s mind and call her/him forward to future possibilities. Sometimes interventions are also needed to relieve limiting childhood events and beliefs.

While training high-level coaches in belief-changing techniques, I have found that a common major error is not discovering the depth of clients’ issues right from the start. This leaves both coach and client disappointed when the suggested actions don’t create immediate results.

This question helps you immediately recognize the depth of the issues and sets you and your client on the most productive track.

So with your next three clients, ask,

In which context do you experience your symptoms?

I would love to hear how well this approach works for you. Share your feedback and comments below.

P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.http://terryhickey.com/

Categories : Beliefs, Coaching Tips
Comments Comments Off on The One Question That Immediately Puts You On Track For Results

Coaches Intensive Program

• Quickly Break Through Money Plateaus
• Gain Confidence, Clarity and Inner Peace
• Banish Your Limiting Money Beliefs