Working with a Disappointed Client

Two recent events have been holding my attention and shaping my thinking. For starters, I just had an uncomfortable but important conversation with a client. This client was not happy and was willing to share their perspective of our coaching experience.

Three areas of concern emerged from our conversation. The first was a question about value, reframed this way: “I am not getting value from our work together. I don’t think you were very focused in our last [two] sessions.”

Next were questions about policies and delivery of services. I asked, “How would you know that you were getting value?” The reply was “I would have had specific actions to take.”

The final issue concerned the client’s responsibility for speaking up about what they wanted. This is often hard for clients to do, so you need to model this or encourage it from the beginning. As one of my former coaches said, “You need to be responsible to your clients, not for them.”

So how do you do this? To help the client speak up, I focused on questions such as “How can we move forward?” and “How could I give value?” What I realized was that I shared in the failure of this relationship.

Why?

It started from the beginning. I was implementing a new, improved system for responding to my clients. I am trying to automate as many functions as I can. I use Infusionsoft, so I should be able to do this, since this software program has all of those capabilities. Yes, but one still must make sure that they are using the functions well and as designed. Did I? No. Where I failed was in making sure not only that all of the information that needed to go out went out but also that it was returned.

Here’s the new plan: Make sure information goes out and comes back signed. Go over the signed information together so there is clarity about how I work. (I’d like to review how I work so we are both clear about how coaching with me works.) Answer any questions that arise, and make sure that I am clear about how I hold myself to agreements. I’m going over this with my VA to make sure all of these steps are put into place.

As for the comment about me not being “present,” guilty as charged. That’s because I was dealing with the other event that’s been on my mind lately—helping my wife with my father-in-law, Harry. He was in the middle of a medical crisis that took over a month to improve. I’m sure that those of you who are dealing with or have dealt with similar caretaking challenges can identify with this.

So what to do: If you are struggling, acknowledge it, and reschedule if necessary. Your clients deserve your attention. By the same token, if your clients are not able to focus or are not “present,” they deserve the truth from you about how they are (not) showing up.

The client and I talked about all of this, and I can’t say the outcome was ideal, but I think the ultimate decision we came up with serves us both. I feel bad because I think I could have been helpful, but once someone has gotten to the point that they no longer believe in or trust you, I think it’s rare that they will come back from that point.

Are you committed to following your heart’s desire? Are you regularly taking action to realize your dreams? If you really want to accomplish your goals, at some point you have to move from planning to action. You must act.