Embrace Your Shadow

With my wife’s prompting, I’ve been learning more about the Enneagram. It’s been useful in helping me take a look at how I move through the world and in understanding myself better.

I have found that as a Type 7, I tend to be all about taking action and taking advantage of opportunities that present themselves. Unfortunately, that often means acting without considering potential problems or downsides. Type 7’s have problems being with uncomfortable feelings, and taking action helps them avoid being uncomfortable.

What I’m learning about the Enneagram is that it presents another way to look at the shadow process. Shadow work is a way of understanding that what seems positive also has a shadow or down side. The Enneagram opens up a way to see that in more depth. It’s a way to develop not just self-awareness but to expand your ability to tolerate “negative” aspects of yourself.

This is another way to do shadow work, by reclaiming aspects of yourself that you don’t like. I think of myself as a pretty open person, but I have to truthfully admit that I make judgments. I can acknowledge that and reclaim my ability to be judgmental.

The Enneagram can help you reclaim aspects of yourself that you’ve disowned. If I value being loving and understanding but realize that I’m angry and judgmental, I need to see how being that way has served me in the past and has allowed me to survive. Recognizing the positive aspect of these “shadows” can help us reclaim the parts of ourselves we’ve judged in a negative way.

Shadow work is a way to bring your true self—including those parts of your personality perceived as negative—out of the shadow into the light. It takes a lot of energy to push away or ignore parts of yourself that you don’t like. To genuinely become whole, you must own these parts rather than ignoring or oppressing them. In addiction work, for example, it helps for people to make peace with their “addict self” instead of getting rid of it, as they tend to want to do. Re-owning parts that you’ve pushed away is the benefit of shadow work—coming to peace with your shadow and making it a part of you.

The Enneagram provides a way of discovering, acknowledging and reintegrating rejected parts, allowing you to understand yourself in a nonjudgmental way. It encourages a willingness to look at parts of yourself that you’ve been concerned or even angry about. The more you push those parts away, the more they have power over you. Eventually you’ll come up against this, and the Enneagram is a platform that will allow you to work through it.

Are you prepared to reclaim your negative parts, make peace with them and ultimately embrace them as part of your true self?

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I like to collect stories about belief change experiences. If you have any interesting ones, let me know or post them below so I can comment on them in subsequent articles or posts.

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About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/