What Kind of Regret Is Right for You?
Unless you’re living your life in a coma, you cannot avoid regret. You simply can’t have a regret-free life. The question is, which kind of regret suits you best?
There’s the kind of regret that comes from not doing something—regret from inaction, and then there’s the regret that comes from doing something and not having it work out—regret because of the consequences of your actions. Which regret is right for you? Would you rather regret what you HAVE done or what you HAVE NOT done?
The underlying criteria for your actions determine your typical regrets. If you believe that taking risks is necessary for self-growth, then you’re more likely to have regrets for consequences. If you lean towards safely and security, you’re more like to have regrets as a result of not having taken risks.
By making a choice FOR something, you are directly or indirectly choosing NOT to do something else. People want their choices to be anxiety free, and when they aren’t, they often avoid making them. When people avoid making painful decisions, it spills over into all parts of their lives. Once they finally move forward with a decision and deal with the consequences, it’s usually a lot easier than they imagined.
One of my favorite coaching challenges is to ask this: “Which anxiety or regret do you want to work on?” Putting off choosing increases the amount of anxiety we experience. Growth requires that we be able to tolerate more uncertainty. Remember that anxiety is a function of your ability to imagine a future that you don’t want. So to a large degree, anxiety is manageable; if you’re going to live in the future, at least make it a future you would enjoy being in. Imagine a future you do want.
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I like to collect stories about belief change experiences. If you have any interesting ones, let me know or post them below so I can comment on them in subsequent articles or posts.
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About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/