Do You Need to Address an Internal Conflict?
Recently in doing work with coaches who are deciding where they want to be in their business or in their earnings, I have come across similar struggles they are having precisely because they are pushing themselves.
When you as a coach move to higher levels of success, you often run into questions and challenges that force you to consider what is really important to you about your work.
Sometimes these questions and inner struggles occur because coaches aren’t certain they want to continue modeling themselves after the successful mentors they have been following up to this point. They wonder if
they should do things differently.
In order to advance to another level and be congruent, coaches must determine what’s right for them. Until you resolve these issues, you cannot reach and maintain a higher level of success.
| It’s not about your mentors or role models being right or wrong—it’s about what’s right for you. |
The sticky part of this process is determining which of the following reasons is the cause of your dilemma: a limiting belief about higher-level success or a conflict of values—a concern about doing something that’s not in harmony with who you are. Either way, you must be willing to take on the struggle in order to move beyond it.
Today, I’m going to focus on the latter issue: honoring your own values.
There are a myriad of extremely successful, high-level coaches in our field with an equally wide-ranging number of approaches. Some can be controversial. Some may have enviable results but use techniques you’d rather
not employ. Some you may have emulated until just recently, but now you question whether their methods are right for you.
Keep in mind that these can be matters of perception. They may involve situations that are not strictly black and white. What some successful coaches may consider to be appropriate and necessary business decisions might also—thought perfectly legal—go against your values.
Whether your concerns are related to rates, style, presentation, content, value or something else entirely, you need to address them and determine what works for you. Integrity is self-defined. Remember, it’s not about your mentors or role models being right or wrong—it’s about what’s right for you.
Again, determine if your challenge is about congruence and values or about beliefs and stepping up in a different way. For some it may be both. Once you identify what is bothering you, start to address the issues one at a time.
The learning point comes when you step up or attempt to act at a higher level, for there can be a reaction. You may experience a “parts split” that will show up as an internal struggle such as, “Part of me wants this, and another part of me wants that.” Treat this as an important opportunity to discover what is really important to you.
P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do; just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.
About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/
